Have you ever found yourself going back to start of something? Starting from ground zero, or close enough to it, and having to rebuild everything that you have worked so hard for? Maybe it’s not something physical that can be seen and held. Maybe it’s something spiritual, like rediscovering your faith, or really diving deep into bettering yourself.
Whatever it may be, we’ve all been there before. We’ve all reached a point in our life where we thought we were where we have always wanted to be, just to discover that we weren’t there just yet. So, in order to continue to work to get to that point that we so desperately want to be, we find ourselves somewhat starting over.
Going back to the beginning, re-evaluating our path and strategy, and executing a new plan as a means to essentially start again.
It can be exhausting, very draining emotionally and mentally at times, and of course annoying. We tend to engage in a lot of negative self-talk when this happens, and if we’re being honest that doesn’t make it feel any less “defeating”. Starting over can be a big pain in the ass and it can often times cause us to lose a lot of motivation to get back on the horse and try again.
But if getting to that specific place in your life, and personal development area of significant growth is really that meaningful to you, then starting over will always be worth it. And just for the record no matter what it is you are having to go back to the drawing board for, it will always be worth. Only something greater can come about something that was already set into motion but needed some readjustments.
I found myself in this position recently in my personal life. While it has been a hell of a whirlwind, and honestly not really fun at all, I have chosen to embrace this new experience with open arms because I know that it is needed in order for me to continue to move forward in my life and with my purpose on this Earth.
Embarking on this journey again has taught me a lot about the beauty in starting over as a means to unapologetically walk in my purpose. I want to share with you some of that beauty, the lessons that I have learned, and even lessons I discovered this time around, about going back to the start in order to build your empire the way you envision it.
It’s not an easy journey, but if you open yourself completely to it, it can be an eye-opening one. Continue reading below to learn more.
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1. Make your vision clearer
One of the most fulfilling things that can come from having to start over is making your vision much clearer. All too often we think we know what want in life and the right way to go about getting it. However, the reality is that we’re not as clear with our first draft of our plan as we may think we are. Especially when we’re crafting a way grasp our higher vision for our life.
A lot of the time when we figure out what we want in life we rush the planning process. We draft out a plan that seems like a good idea and we just run with it. No revisions, re-considerations, thoughts or opinions from others. We just think “this is it” and we make do with what we have.
This is because of the desired need to want to be in our “there” moment right then and now. We are taught to operate in a future-tense state of mind, and we naturally design our lives to reflect this way. This makes it hard for us to be patient with ourselves on our journey, and to really take the time to plan efficiently how we are going to successfully achieve our goal.
Starting over gives you the chance to do this differently. It’s the perfect time to re-evaluate your vision, how you plan to achieve it, and actually take the time to get there. It can be hard finding the patience within yourself to let what is yours find its way to you when it is meant to, but you have to trust that the universe has your back.
When you find yourself having to take a few steps back in order to get back on track with your life, look at it as a blessing. Maybe the universe has thrown this obstacle your way so that you can retrace your steps and learn where you need to make different choices in order to receive what you truly want in life.
Choose to see the beauty in having to step back from what you’re doing in order to improve the end goal. Take the time to make your vision clearer. That’ll make achieving your milestones all the more meaningful.
2. Find your peace
Having to start over is also a good time to find your peace. We live in a very busy and always on the go world. Very rarely do we find the time, and actually take the time, to silence the outside world and just tune into ourselves.
This can often leave us feeling drained, depleted, unsure, and extremely unmotivated. We learn how to tune into the life of others and check out of our own lives. This not only leaves plenty of room to play a dangerous game of comparison, but it also causes us to silence our own inner voice.
When this happens, we usually find ourselves ignoring our needs (more on this later). This can lead us down a rabbit hole of constantly questioning what we’re doing with our life, what the “end goal” is that we’re striving for, and even feel the urge to abandon ship and everything we are currently doing to live a life that we truly love.
Starting over gives you the chance to cast these negative thoughts and feelings aside and to focus on what it is that you truly desire.
You eventually begin to realize that when you were trying to live the life you love the first time around it was extremely hard because you didn’t silence the outside noise. That teaches you to do the opposite this time around, so that you can find your peace. When you find your peace, you learn how to be content with all that you have, all that you have been given, and with all that shall come your way.
Starting over doesn’t have to be a bad thing riddled with bad thoughts and emotions. It can be something positive that helps you learn how to tune more into yourself in order to have a better understanding of what you want in life. What makes you happy, and brings you great joy? Find your peace and turn the potential negatives into positives. Your mind will thank you for it.
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3. Focus on yourself
Remember how we briefly talked about how starting over could be a change for you to pay more attention to your needs? Well, this statement couldn’t be truer.
When we get into a routine of sorts, we becomes disciplined with ensuring that we are caring for ourselves to the best of our abilities. However, when we get caught up with trying to maintain something that just isn’t working for us anymore, we slowly begin to lose grip on taking care of ourselves. We get so caught up with staying on the course that we are on that we essentially start to ignore our needs.
We ignore our bodies telling us when it’s time to ret, or when we need to remove or add something into our diet. We ignore when we need to take the time to care for our mental and emotional health, and even when we’re no longer happy with where we are in life. We even learn how to ignored the helpful thoughts, concerns, and opinions from those in our supportive network because we fear being a disappointment to them.
We do this because we think that acknowledging the fact that something is no longer working for us is us giving up on what we’re doing. The reality is that this couldn’t be more opposite. Starting over is a chance for you to really focus on yourself and meet your needs. It’s a chance for you to remove anything from your life that is no longer serving you, and replace it with things that are more fulfilling.
Care for your mental and emotional health. Get back into doing a daily routine that helps you feel your best. Listen to your body and give it what it needs in order to thrive. Treat food as medicine for the body. Invest in yourself and do so much more!
Starting over doesn’t have to symbolize failure, it can symbolize rebirth. Change your view and perspective about this process and your life will follow suit. Focus on giving yourself what you need in order to thrive and come back better than ever.
4. Build meaningful connections/relationships
Stating over is also the perfect chance to build connections with people that could potentially last a lifetime. When we become too determined to see a road that we have already traveled on through to the very end, we unknowingly cast away people who helped us stay grounded. We get too caught up with being “better” than who we were that we lose sight of all the people that actually made us, and make us great.
Sounds a lot like a Hollywood story but this happens to everyday people as well. Becoming obsessed with being “better” than who we previously were causes us to get wrapped up in greed. Greed causes us to lose sight of what truly matters. When this happens, we lose touch with the people that keep us humbled.
Starting over allows you the opportunity to humbled yourself once more. Let go of the relationships that weren’t helping you thrive, and focus on rebuilding the connections with the people who were. This will open your eyes to the reality that you should never strive to be “better” than you once were, but instead that you should always aim to grow into a better version of yourself.
I was once told that the only person you should ever be in competition with is yourself, because when you are, you’re constantly growing into a version of yourself that reflects who you authentically are at your core.
Don’t try to be “better”, aim to become better. You start this by building connections and relationships with people who humble, guide, and unconditionally accept the most authentic version of you at every stage of your growth.
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5. Discover your joy in life
Finally discover your joy in life.
We grow up, we adopt new interests, and even let go of old ones. We’re constantly changing our minds, and becoming a different version of who we were 5 years ago. As we age, we change and sometimes that means the life we may have wanted for ourselves 3 years ago is not the life that we want for ourselves now.
And guess what, there is nothing wrong with that.
You don’t want to live your life in misery. You want to be happy and believe that your life has meaning, and that you are living through your purpose. The best way to accomplish such a feeling and adopt such a belief is by finding the joy in what is your life today.
Don’t hang out in the past or spend too much time in the future. Be present with everything that is happening for you now, and be open to all the experiences that will come your way. Discovering the joy in your life is what will ultimately lead you to where you want to be.
Sometimes in order to get there we have to start over, and that’s OK.
There is beauty in having to restructure your life, go back and sketch your future once more, and embark on that journey again. Don’t get caught up in the details about what is working and what is not working. Instead keep your eye on the bigger picture and don’t be afraid to start over if it’s not shaping out how you envisioned it would.
Sometimes we need to take a step back in order to see where we may have misstep in life. The most beautiful thing about starting over is painting a picture that more accurately reflects who you are today in this moment. Embrace that opportunity and don’t fear the changes.
Only unlimited possibilities await you ahead. Have you had to start over in your life recently? What’s one lesson you’d like to share with others? Share it in the comments below!
-Xo
Kimora