What are limiting beliefs? What’s the connection between this thought process and our ability to achieve certain things in life? How can giving so much power to an un-proven thought, prevent us from operating at our full potential? Unpacking everything there is to know about limiting beliefs could be an all-day conversation, and honestly probably even longer!
Limiting beliefs are a specific thought pattern that makes us feel as though we are not worthy of unapologetically operating in our full potential.
They are false or unproven beliefs that we hold about ourselves, because we have been made to believe them to be true. Usually, these thoughts are often a result of childhood behaviors and thought patterns, but limiting beliefs can surface even in adulthood. As the name of this thought pattern suggests, they limit our ability to think highly of ourselves.
When given power these thoughts infiltrate every area of our lives, making it hard for us to believe that we are more than these limiting thoughts.
I’ve had my fair share of adopting some limiting beliefs over the years. While it was not by any means an easy journey to overcome these beliefs, I eventually found helpful techniques to help me do so. Below I’m sharing with you some of these techniques, as well as how holding such beliefs about yourself can be detrimental to your overall life.
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Limiting Belief: I’m a failure
This belief is often one that we learn to adopt at a very young age. It’s the belief that no matter what we want to do in life, we will never be successful. It supports the idea that we are limited in our capabilities to do things, and that anything that is not aligned with our natural skills and abilities is not something we should strive to do.
What this belief does to our confidence is shut it down completely. It makes us feel as though we shouldn’t ever try anything new because we will only embarrass ourselves. So instead of putting our best foot forward with anything we do, we do enough to determine whether or not we believe we are capable of succeeding. Enough to feel as though we tried, so in case we don’t succeed the blow doesn’t hurt as much.
Naturally this attitude and belief about ourselves filters into all areas of our life. It will show up in our relationships, the type of careers we pursue, the kinds of conversations we have with others, the type of activities we engage, and even how we choose to love and care for ourselves. When we adopt the belief that failure is always your only option, we limit ourselves from growing beyond where we currently are.
And this just holds us back further in life, and keeps us from claiming all the things we deserve to have in life. When we choose to think of ourselves as less than our true potential, we are allowing this limiting belief to become a part of our identity.
So how do we overcome this limiting belief? By putting ourselves out there and trying new things. Even if we are completely unsure of whether or not we will be good at it! There is no faster way to build your confidence, and truly know all that you are capable of doing unless you try your hands at everything that interests you.
Knowing what you’re good at is very much like knowing what foods you do and do not like. You have to open yourself up to the experience and discover what it is you truly love. Only then can you know that the idea of being a failure is simply a form of fear that is manifesting in your life because you are allowing it to. Acknowledge this fact and this limiting belief will not have power over you.
Limiting Belief: People don’t see me
This belief is the idea that you’re a shadow among the sunlight. You believe that no matter how much you put yourself out there, people will never really see you. People will only see me when it benefits them, but outside of that you believe you are invisible. This belief can greatly influence your confidence by making you feel as though you truly are invisible and all your hard work and efforts will always go unnoticed.
You begin to believe that you are constantly overlooked and any good or kindness you have to offer the world will forever go unnoticed. This belief will also make you feel as though trying your hand at anything is pointless. Whether that’s helping someone you deeply care about, or doing something special for someone you care about and see may eb struggling. You begin to adopt the belief that you are limited in what you have to offer others. That what you do have to offer isn’t something of value.
Rather your “gift’ is just something that can simply be of assistance to others, but not necessarily life changing or powerful in other ways. It’s something that can progress the success of others, but you personally will never benefit from your efforts. This belief is very much growth limiting, and is a specific type of behavior that we learn to adopt. It limits us in believing that there are still so many areas of ourselves to explore, and so many different ways we can share our gifts with others.
We overcome this belief by discovering our voice and building the courage to use it. Invisibility is the result of choosing to stay silent or allowing yourself to not be seen. When you intentionally put yourself on the side lines, or in the shadows, you are setting the standard for how you want others to view you. The idea of being invisible among others is not a personality trait. It’s a learned behavior that adopts the false belief that you have nothing of value to give.
No one is invisible because they simply cannot be seen. We become invisible when we allow ourselves to exist within the shadows. Remember that. Allow your ideas to be heard. Give life to your voice and imagination. Be brave, be bold, and be courageous enough to be seen in all your light and glory. Know that you have the power to allow people to see what you want them to see, and that doesn’t have to be everything you are doing with your life.
Great minds move in silence, and sometimes silence speaks louder and has more power than words. But to move in silence is not to be invisible. It is simply to create boundaries for what you are willing to allow others to access to when it comes to your life, and to stand proudly by those boundaries. This does not make you invisible but mindful of your presence among others. So, take pride in your ability to not always be on display, but know that people do see you when you allow them to, and that’s what really matters.
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Limiting Belief: I’m unlovable
This is one of the most hurtful limiting beliefs that you could ever adopt. This belief supports the idea that you are less than, you are not worthy, and you are not valuable in any form or fashion. It supports the false belief that unless someone chooses to love you, you are not worthy of love. Which supports the false belief that love, which may come from you for others, or may be for you from others isn’t genuine.
This limiting belief even supports the idea that simply loving someone like “me” is hard and next to impossible to do. This belief does more than just tear apart our confidence. It also completely shatters our soul. It almost encourages you to create a world where you truly do believe that there is no light at the end of the tunnel for you. It silently encourages to you learn how to move through this world believing that you are not worthy of love, or that no one wants to love you.
This limiting belief completely destroys bits and pieces of your heart little by little, until you truly do believe that you are unlovable. This is because we ruminate (constantly think about) over the idea that in order to be loved by someone we have to become a version of ourselves that is not authentic to who we are at our core. We make ourselves believe that there is something wrong with who we are, and that’s why others choose to not love us.
This couldn’t be further from the truth! I am a firm believer that those who are meant to be in your life will always show up for you when you need them most. They will show up in your greatest moments of need, and most certainly in moments when you need to be reminded that you are loved for who you are at your core!
You overcome this belief by trusting in yourself. Be yourself, who you know to be true about you, and extend that version of yourself to others. It may not always click well with others, but it will always stick like glue to those who are deserving. To feel loved and believe you are loveable starts with unconditionally loving yourself.
You learn to do this be embracing everything that makes you, you and letting go of everything that doesn’t. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times over. There will ever only be one you. So be the most authentic version of yourself and you’ll always attract those who love you for who you are at your core.
Limiting Belief: I’m not worthy
This belief is the another one that is very hurtful. This belief not only makes you believe as though you truly are less than, but it also makes you give up on yourself in more ways than one. When you adopt the belief that you are not worthy you train yourself to see yourself through a lens that is not an honest reflection of who you are. To believe that you are unworthy is to believe that you don’t matter. To believe that your life has no meaning and your actions have no purpose.
It’s the idea to give up on yourself in a way where you don’t live life on your terms, but rather you play it safe by following the rules. Even if the rules don’t honestly and authentically reflect your morals and values. You learn to play by the rules and never step outside of the box, because your creativity and what makes you unique wouldn’t be valued anyways. This belief shatters our confidence to be different from others, and to embrace those differences, and to unapologetically shine brightly with our differences.
Overcoming this belief is probably one of the hardest. This is because you have to completely shift your mindset to believe that your life has purpose and is meaningful, and that you can make a difference whether it’s big or small. A lot of the time we think that in order to be worthy of something or someone we have to be making huge waves that everyone takes notice of. However, this is not the case at all! We all contribute to the better of the world in our own way, and for some that may be through small waves.
Shift your mindset about what it means and looks like to be of worth. Not just for yourself, but also how you hold this value of worth to others. Overcoming this belief requires you to acknowledge the power and strength that lives inside of you, and having the courage to wear it proudly on your sleeve. Know that you are worthy. Know that your life has meaning. Trust that your actions have purpose.
It’s not always easy standing on your own two feet, but when you unapologetically stand in your power and purpose, you not only become a force to be reckoned with, but also unstoppable.
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Conclusion
These four limiting beliefs are some of the most common ones that everybody adopts at some point in their life. They are a reflection of our confidence, our awareness of ourselves, and they show where we have room to grow. If we allow them to, they can become a part of our identity, and be beliefs that we willingly choose to live by. However, if we do the work that has to be done to remove them from our identity and our narrative, we can overcome them.
If you are ready to take that next step with living through your purpose and power, I’m here ready to help. Send me an email at Kimora@KimoraChanel.com or check out some of my coaching programs (listed below) to learn more about how I can help you overcome any limiting belief that you currently have. It’s not an easy process or journey at all, but you deserve to feel strong and confident in your own skin. That starts with changing the way you think about yourself not only in your own personal space, but also in the presence of others.
Coaching programs that can help you shift your mindset and begin the process of overcoming limiting beliefs:
Want more on this topic? Check out my latest YouTube video where I sit down with limiting beliefs coach Sarah Lynette. We talk more in depth about these four different limiting beliefs and Sarah provides you with more helpful tools to help you overcome them.
You are more than just your thoughts. Know that and believe that. Once you recognize how great you are, only then can you operate at your full potential.
-Xo
Kimora