Something that has always been such a giant question mark to me is why people put so much value, and draw so much attention to an individual’s weight. From a medical perspective I can understand 100% why anybody’s weight would be an important topic of discussion. Outside of that, I will never understand why.
Of course, there are countless society pressures and influences that draw our attention to what it does or does not mean to be healthy. Unfortunately, outside of what your body looks like, as a society we tend to determine health by a person’s weight. An assumed weight that is, since of course we are all conditioned to look at specific body types and assume that they may or may not be carrying a healthy weight.
This drives me insane because with the sometimes-toxic perspective that we as a society hold about what a healthy weight/body type looks like (especially for women), it often drives people to want to lose weight for all the wrong reasons.
Just to clarify, I do 100% believe in everyone having the right to do whatever it is that they want and are comfortable with doing with their bodies. That goes for men and women.
What bothers me is when anyone’s reasoning behind a weight loss goal is strictly influenced based on society’s views and definition of what is healthy and beautiful. When you allow society to tell you that your body type is equal to an unhealthy weight, and you create weight loss goals based on what society has told you (and not your doctor), this can make it very hard for you to achieve your goals.
If weight loss is a goal of yours, something that you have been striving to achieve for a while, or maybe just something you are considering doing just to feel more confident in your own skin, this post is for you.
As a health and wellness coach who wholeheartedly supports caring for all areas of your health in a safe, supportive, and holistic way, here is the right way to set weight loss goals (if you want to be successful with doing so).
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Disclaimer: Before moving forward I just want to let you know that I am not a medical professional of any kind. Everything you are about to read is strictly advice based off of personal and shared experiences around the topic of weight loss. This post is not meant to provide you with weight loss tips.
So, you want to or have been thinking about losing weight but aren’t really sure if you are capable of doing so. First, I just want to let you know that anything you put your mind to you are 100% capable of doing. Goals that we can or cannot achieve are simply a mind over matter situation, where if we tell ourselves we “can” or “can’t” then essentially that is the type of energy we will manifest around that thought/goal. So, it’s not a matter of whether you can or can’t, but more so a matter of whether you are setting weight loss goals for the right reasons.
As someone who has tried many times to lose weight and be consistent about it, I have learned a lot about what works and does not work. In today’s post I’m sharing with you what I believe to be the perfect formula in order to achieve this goal. Check it out below!
Evaluate your confidence level
This is by far the most important step when setting weight loss goals. As discussed in the introduction of this post, a lot of the time many individuals are driven to create weight loss goals based off of what society has told them about their own self-image.
If you can easily let someone who exists outside of your body tell you that something is wrong, and allow those thoughts to influence the way you then love and care for yourself, it’s a clear sign of having low self-esteem.
With my many years of educational background in psychology I can confidently tell you that no one enters this world believing that something is wrong with them. We never see any flaws in who we are or our own self-image until someone points them out to us. Having high or low self-esteem is hugely based on the type of comments that you allow and do not allow to fill up your space.
Which is why I highly suggest that you evaluate your confidence level before moving forward with making any type of weight loss goal. If you do not believe that losing weight is something that you need to do in order to feel beautiful, strong, confident, and sexy in your own skin then do not allow society to tell you otherwise.
Of course, if you feel the opposite is true then do what you need to do in order to feel your best.
Regardless of where you stand with the desire to lose weight, evaluate your confidence around your own identify first. The power in doing so gives you the opportunity to be honest with yourself about whether or not your confidence is being influenced by society’s ideals of what is beautiful and considered healthy.
This is important because it shows how easily you can be manipulated, persuaded, or convinced to alter your appearance with a simple comment. The more confidence you have, the harder it will be for someone to convince you that you need to change something as simple as your body shape/weight in order to meet their standards of beauty. This is where you want to be when it comes to your confidence.
Understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if your confidence does not match your own standards of beauty, you may be setting your weight loss goals for the wrong reasons.
Spend some time thinking about if it’s something you actually want
Once you have evaluated your confidence the next thing you need to do is decide if losing weight is actually something that you want. Again, you want to make sure that your decision to lose weight is not driven by society’s standards of beauty. In order to be sure about whether or not losing weight is a goal that you want for yourself you need to spend time thinking this decision over.
Weight loss is not an easy task to do. Depending on what your weight loss goals may be, often times it requires you to change your eating habits, adopt a consistent and sometimes rigorous exercise routine, and in severe cases undergo surgery. Needless to say, losing weight is a big deal because there are a lot of important decisions to make that are going to have a direct impact on your health and everyday living.
This is why I believe that if losing weight is something that you want to achieve you need to have a plan about how you are going to do so. Who is going to be involved? What is your weight loss number? What specific activities are you doing to do in order to reach this goal? How are you going to change your lifestyle?
When you have a lack of knowledge about how to lose weight in a safe and realistic manner, you may find that the results reverse once you stop doing what you did to lose the weight. Above all understand that losing weight and maintaining that weight loss is a cause for a lifestyle change/commitment.
So, think it over before jumping into the journey, because you want to make sure that it’s a lifestyle change you can commit to long after you have reached your goal.
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Determine your why behind your decision
The best advice that I could ever give anyone who has made a weight loss goal is to understand your why behind your decision. Again, the running theme here is to ensure that your decision to lose weight is not something that society has influenced for you. This is where a lot of soul searching is going to come into play.
Think about the last major goal you set for yourself. What was your reasoning? The motivation behind it all?
Anytime we set a goal it’s because it holds some amount of significance to us. Very rarely do we set goals just because we decided it was something that we wanted to achieve just to say that we did. Often times our goals are a clear reflection of a positive change that we want to make in our own lives.
Take the time to understand your reasoning behind your decision to lose weight. Make sure that you have actual evidence that justifies your reasoning to do so. For example, if feeling uncomfortable in your skin has been preventing you from having a healthy social life, this is a good reason to lose weight in order to reverse this feeling and meet an important need. However, losing weight simply because you want to attract someone you are interested in may not be a good reason.
Don’t make the decision to half-ass commit to an important life change. Make the decision to commit fully only if it is going to genuinely improve your life in some way. Don’t only spend time thinking about whether you really want to lose weight, but also spend time fully understanding your why behind the decision.
This will make all the difference is how you approach this journey.
Speak to your doctor
Lastly, when in doubt have an open and honest discussion with your doctor. I always encourage people to seek professional medical advice from someone you trust if you are unsure about whether or not you need to make specific life changes in order to be your healthiest and happiest self. This is because they will be able to better guide you and provide the necessary facts about whether or not your desired change is in fact something that you need and can achieve in a safe fashion.
Your doctor will never steer you wrong when it comes to making important decisions about your health. Of course, how you feel in your own skin is just as important as factual information, but if you are unsure if weight loss is a road you should travel this is where you should be open to having the discussion with your doctor.
You may find that weight loss may not be something you should work towards in order to feel comfortable in your skin and increase your confidence, but maybe weight gain or muscle gain may be what you should focus on. Either way, your doctor is going to be able to guide you in the best direction to help ensure that you are doing all the necessary things that are within your power to do, in order to be as healthy as you possibly can be.
All in all, when in doubt seek out your doctor for professional advice and then act accordingly.
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Conclusion
Sometimes, when we feel awkward in our own skin, and we don’t like what we see when we look into the mirror, we automatically associate it with our weight. Whether that’s to lose or gain weight, anything that we don’t like about ourselves we instantly assume that if we change the number on the scale the way we will feel will change.
Yes, in some cases this is in fact that case. However, in a lot of other cases this may not be the solution you are seeking.
A lot of the times your image and identity based on what you see in the mirror is a confidence issue, not a weight issue. It’s so important to take the necessary steps to filter out the good and bad influences that are circling around your thoughts about your weight. Not only will it help provide you with some much-needed perspective about the topic and how you are associating it with your own self-image, but it will ensure that you approach weight loss (if you decide it is something you want to do) in a safe and healthy manner.
Regardless of where you stand on this topic just be sure to make a decision based on what is in your heart and not what you see or hear from others. This is a life changing decision that will impact all areas of your health, and you want to make sure that upon making this decision you are doing so only for the best.
But honestly, learn the love the skin that you are in. You are beautiful, strong, and sexy no matter what size you are. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.
-Xo
Kimora