Confidence plays such a vital role in our lives in more ways than one. Confidence gives us the genuine belief that we can truly accomplish anything we set our minds to. It helps us to believe that no matter what path in life we choose to take we will be successful. It also helps us believe that we are unconditionally loved and accepted as we are by those we love.
Confidence changes the game on a completely different level! I can honestly say that there are so many great things that I have accomplished, and plan to accomplish now in my life, that teenage me would have never even dreamed of doing. I know that this comes from my journey with increasing my confidence.
However, confidence does more than just push and encourage us to grow into the best versions of ourselves. It allows us to feel 100% secure and comfortable in our own skin. What does that get us? It allows us to create the life that we desire. A life that is full of joy, is very meaningful, and gives us the confidence to continue to strive for more.
When you are confident in who you are and everything that you have to offer to others, you are unstoppable. Maybe not in the literal sense, but there truly is nothing that can make you fear operating in your full potential. Confidence also helps us to feel secure with everything that makes us who we are, flaws and all.
So how do we get to this point in our lives? What is the journey of increasing your confidence like? Read below to learn my top secrets to increasing your confidence and how it can help you finally start creating the life you have always dreamed of.
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1. Acknowledge your strengths
The first step to increasing your confidence is acknowledging your strengths. A lot of us tend to downplay our greatest strengths out of fear of shining brighter than those around us. So instead of speaking up and helping out where we know we would be a great asset, or being the first person to take charge of a situation we know we would be good at leading, we decide to hang out in the background.
We intentionally choose to dim our light simply because we do not have the confidence to stand proudly and unapologetically in it.
This ends right here and right now. From this moment on I want you to start leaning into your strengths and using them to the best of your ability wherever and whenever you see an opportunity to do so. It’s important to acknowledge your strengths because they are the foundation of who you are.
They represent a small part of you, your abilities and the many different ways that you can help impact the world for the better.
I am also a firm believer of the fact that there will ever only be one you. It is because of this why I strongly believe we need to use the gifts that we were given instead of letting them go to waste. No one is going to be able to impact the world the way you will be able to. Even if you have the same strength as someone else, they are not going to use it the same way that you will.
Acknowledge your strengths and learn how to become comfortable with using them at all times. In doing so your confidence will significantly increase.
2. Just be yourself
There is absolutely nothing more confident than someone who is not afraid to be themselves. One of the biggest struggles that we all deal with at some point and time in our life is comparing ourselves to others. Whether it’s the beautiful cheerleader, the football star, our ex’s new significant other, or even our very own siblings, we all fall victim to this.
The reason we so easily fall into the trap of comparison is because we are lacking the confidence to avoid it altogether. We learn how to look to others for what makes us acceptable, which in turn makes us feel as though we need to borrow certain character traits from others to be amazing. This is a false belief that we all fall victim to when we do not have the confidence needed to recognize when it’s happening.
If there was one piece of advice that I wish was given to me when I was younger, it’s to just be yourself. Your confidence begins and grows when you unapologetically choose to just be yourself. That will get you so much farther in life, and allow you to be so much more successful, than trying to imitate the image of someone else.
Again, there will ever only be one you, so be grateful for this fact and operate in your fullest potential. Your confidence will soar and so many amazing opportunities will fall into your lap when you stop trying to be like others and you choose to just be yourself.
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3. Do things that scare you
Get out of your comfort zone and do things that scare you. This is the fastest way to increase your confidence. You’d be surprise with how you can turn on and turn up when you are presented with a challenge that actually scares you. All too often we put ourselves in a position to be good enough, but not to be great.
Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s because we fear the unknown of what sharing our greatness with others may bring to us. We fear not knowing what challenges will allow us to grow into the best version of ourselves, and what challenges will allow us to get to the next level in life. We become too comfortable with being comfortable that we forget what it feels like to be scared.
We overcome this and allow ourselves to grow and expand by doing things that scare us. This helps to increase our confidence because it teaches us the principle of never backing down from a challenge. It provides an opportunity for us to use our strengths, expand on our skills, and learn something new about ourselves.
Once you’ve tackled the challenge, and have encouraged yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, your confidence will increase because you’ll be riding on this high of feeling so accomplished. No matter what that activity that scares you may be, there is nothing like becoming more comfortable with who you are by testing the limits of your own confidence to do things.
4. Live out your passions
Another great way to increase your confidence is by doing things that genuinely bring you joy. I like to call these your greatest passions. What are the activities that bring you alive in ways that nothing else can or will? Spend time identifying them and engaging in them. It’ll increase your confidence by helping you become comfortable with who you are.
We tend to engage in our passions as hobbies. Our hobbies are things that we usually do when we have free time, we may be bored, or if it’s something that we have found a way to incorporate as part of our daily routine. While this is great it’s also an excuse to not live your life doing things that you genuinely enjoy doing all the time.
When we constantly put a day and time for when we are able to participate in activities that bring us joy, we learn to adopt this action as a habit. This ultimately prevents us from being able to spend more time doing the things that we love just for the simple joy of doing it. Instead, we teach ourselves to only do the things that serve us in that specific moment and for a particular reason.
Spending more time engaging in your passions will increase your confidence by reassuring you that there are no limits to what you can do. Don’t get on the path in life where everything has to be planned out and may deprive you of your joy. Follow the path in life that is going to allow you to do everything you want to do and so much more at the expense of fully participating in your greatest passions.
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5. Surround yourself with like-minded people
This is one of the most important tips that I could ever give anyone. A big part of your confidence comes from the people that you surround yourself with. They are your support group, your biggest cheerleaders, and the people who are going to always help steer you in the right direction. If the company you keep is not reflective of the life you want to live, then your confidence will not match it.
The company we keep influences so many areas of our lives. From our career choices, to the type of relationships that we have, and even the way we live our lives. The people you surround yourself with have a direct influence on what you will get out of life and those relationships as well. If you want to get the most out of your actions then you have to be willing to put in the effort needed to produce those kinds of results.
The company you keep is going to essentially be the defining factor for whether or not you have the energy, intention, and motivation to do so. If we don’t feel like we have a supportive group in our corner, we are not going to feel confident enough to explore all the things that life has to offer us. If the opposite were true, we would have the confidence to truly live and explore life to the fullest.
6. Trust your instincts
Finally, trust your instincts. This is the hardest thing for us to do when we are lacking the confidence needed in order to do so. This is because we have tricked ourselves into believing that we do not know what is best for us. When we feel this way about yourselves, and believe such a belief to be true, we are constantly looking for others about what is or is not the right decision to make about our life.
You have to learn how to trust your instincts. No one is going to know what is the right decision for you and your life at any particular point and time like you will. Yes, there will be moments of uncertainty, and moments when we do in fact make the wrong decision. However, nothing can ever be as wrong as not believing that we know what we need in order to move forward in our lives.
Your gut will never steer you wrong. It will never put you in danger, and it will never allow you to suffer in a situation that you cannot find a way to get out of. Your gut is your safety net and the one thing in life that is never going to intentionally put you in danger, or a situation that is going to bring you harm in any way.
When you learn how to start trusting your instincts an increase in your confidence will naturally begin to follow after it. You may even find that the two, work hand in hand. Your confidence comes from trusting your gut, and your gut will always lead you to moments, situations, and various opportunities in life that will allow you to be able to participate with full confidence.
All in all
When you break it down our confidence is really just a small part of what we believe to be true about our ability to do something. This belief, and many other beliefs that we have about ourselves, comes from the instincts that we feel in our gut. If it’s something that we believe we are capable of doing, and our gut tells us that we can do it, our confidence will allow us to rise to the occasion.
It’s one of the hardest things to learn how to do simply because our thoughts often conflict with what our gut says. However, when you learn how to separate the two from each other, and how to listen to one over the other when the situation permits it, there will be no wavering in your confidence. The other tips in this blog post may also help you learn how to separate your thoughts, from your gut, and which one is truly the driving force behind your confidence.
Our confidence plays such a crucial role in how we live our lives and the things that we fill our life with. When we lack the confidence to make it amazing life becomes something that we learn how to live in the shadows. When we have confidence in everything that we believe to be true about ourselves, the things we set out to do, and ultimately the way we live our lives, we learn how to fill our life with things that are precious and meaningful.
We learn how to live our lives authentically, and that all starts with having the confidence to do so.
-Xo
Kimora