Goals, goals, goals. I can literally talk about them all day because I believe they truly are the driving force for almost everything in our lives. They are essentially the foundation for the life that we ultimately choose to live.
If there is something, we want we make a plan about how to get it. No matter what it is if we want it, we will find a way to get it. Of course, the word “want” in this sense is a clear representation of something that we believe we need to have in order to improve ourselves or our lives in some way. Whether those wants are for improve our relationships, friendships, or careers, if we have our eye set on achieving something, we make a plan about how to get it.
This is the core of goal setting. It starts with acknowledging what it is that you want. We never set goals just for the hell of it. There is always a rhyme and reason behind our decision to go out and achieve something.
Sometimes it’s to complete a bigger picture and sometimes it’s just to fill a void in our life. You can set goals to heal from emotional baggage, to improve your health, or to even just make your life feel so much more fulfilling in some way. Whatever your reasoning may be, goals are the birth of a new chapter in our lives and it would be wise of us to plan accordingly.
But what if you’ve been setting goals, making a plan to achieve them, and for one reason or another you find it hard to see that goal through? What does it mean? Is the goal not challenging enough? Does it not hold a significant meaning to you?
It’s so easy to get stuck on the surface of what our goals are that we often forget to pay attention to all the fine details that make them important. I’ve been at this place many, many times before, and with each time I’ve learned what to do and not do in order to stick to my goals so that I can keep moving forward.
Don’t worry if you find yourself having a hard time with sticking to your goals. It’s a normal part of goal setting and achieving and it happens to the best of us. I’m going to share my top discoveries that have help me get out of my own way so that I could get right back on track with accomplishing all of my goals.
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1. You’re being too hard on yourself
The number one reason we fall off of our goals every now and then is because we are putting way too much pressure on ourselves to succeed. We set goals because they mean something to us. However, when we also set that goal, we are unconsciously putting a huge responsibility on our shoulders to see that goal through.
While I do believe that having a fire filled with determination to succeed can be helpful, I also know that when you pressure yourself to succeed it can be very harmful. This is because you set yourself up emotionally for failure.
You have to understand that goals are not meant to be achieved overnight. They take time and if you want to see the results that you desire you have to be willing to put in the hard work to get them. No matter how long it may take. Putting pressure on yourself makes you feel rushed and can often times cause you to set unrealistic expectations to follow in order to get there.
This can take a huge toll on your mind and body and lead you to a mental and emotional breakdown fairly quickly. The best way to avoid this is to take the pressure off of yourself.
Give yourself time to work towards your goal. Don’t rush or expect immediate results. Instead understand that it will take time so there’s no need to rush. Everything will happen in good timing.
2. You’re not bouncing back from your setbacks
Another big problem I often see with people having a hard time sticking to their goals is their inability to bounce back. Every now and then you will hit a wall with your goals. Everything you’re doing will seem too repetitive, become boring, and you’ll lose the motivation to get the work done.
When this happens, you may find yourself not wanting to work towards the goal anymore and shift your focus to something else. Or you may come to believe that you need to take a break because you’ve tricked yourself into thinking that is what you need right now in order to continue moving forward. The reality is that neither of these options will serve you because they all will result in one thing.
Your goal not being accomplished.
Instead of switching your focus or taking a break try changing your routine in a way that will help you bounce back. When you find yourself unsure of how to get out of your funk so that you can keep working towards your goal, think of what you can do now to slowly get the wheels turning again.
This will vary from what type of goal you are striving to achieve, but the overall idea is to adopt routine changes that will help you keep moving forward. Whether that’s altering your plan to get to your goal, working towards it every other day, getting an accountability partner, or placing yourself in a new environment, find little things that will keep that fire inside you alive.
3. You keep making the same goals
It’s so important to make sure that your goals have variety. You don’t want to keep setting the same goals over and over again because you will become very bored with them very quickly. Try setting goals that are similar to one another, if they all are a part of the same desired end goal, but also make sure that they are different from each other in some way.
For example, if your desired end goal is to lose 30 pounds in three months, don’t set three different goals that are all about exercise and weight loss. Instead, set one related to exercise, another related to eating habits, and the third related to stretching.
Having variability keeps you engaged and excited to work towards your goal.
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4. You’re procrastinating
Another reason you may be having a hard time sticking to your goals may be because you are simply procrastinating about them. Maybe you have goals that you want to achieve, and even a plan about how to accomplish them, but you simply can’t motivate yourself to get started. I’ve been here many times before too.
First, this has nothing to do with your actual goal. It doesn’t mean your goal isn’t challenging enough, or meaningful in any way. It just simply means for one reason or another you’d rather not work towards it right now.
There are many reasons why you may be procrastinating working towards your goals. Maybe the time you want to start it isn’t right, you’re trying to accomplish too much in a small-time frame, or maybe you’re being held back your fears.
Whatever the reason, you’re holding off on working towards your goals simply because you have no idea what the journey will be like. You don’t know what to expect so you fill yourself up with so much anticipation that you ultimately tell yourself to hold off on it for now.
I can relate to the fear of the unknown. However, I can tell you from personal experience that putting it off does not help in the long run. All this will do is create more anticipation and uncertainty and make you feel like now is not the right time to start this goal.
If not now, then when, right? Stop procrastinating and just dive right in! The best part of any journey is discovering everything you never thought to expect.
5. You have other things in your life holding you back
The last thing that may be a reason you’re having a hard time sticking to your goals could be because you have a lot of other things going on in your life. Maybe you’re dealing with financial problems, family problems, health problems, or other problems that seem to be taking up a lot of your energy.
Dealing with life transitions are a normal part of life. And yes, they can interfere with your goals in a major way.
I use to give myself such a hard time with not being able to handle and do everything all at once. Once I learned that I have to prioritize everything good and bad in my life in order to move forward, I stopped feeling bad for myself for not doing it all.
Allowing myself to own that and heal from that pressure has made goal setting and achieving so much easier for me. It can do the same for your too. If you find yourself dealing with other situations in your life that need to take a priority over your personal goals, handle the outside noise first.
This will allow you to be focused on your goals 100% and to not be splitting your time and attention.
Conclusion
Setbacks with your goals are normal. We don’t always have goals that we feel inspired or motivated to work towards. Some days are harder, some are easier, but every day will always bring something different for you to experience. Instead of getting down on yourself about it, or jumping to negative conclusions, take a step back and be present with everything that is happening.
It’s not the end of the world to be stuck with moving forward with your goals. So long as you adjust as necessary and stay committed to reaching that goal, you’re already accomplishing so much more than what you originally set out to do.
Filter out the bad and replace it with empathy and compassion for yourself. Be patient, kind, and gentle with yourself. It’s only a minor setback and the smallest of roadblocks. It will not prevent you from reaching your goal unless you allow it to.
So stay strong and stay in the fight. Your day will come.
-Xo
Kimora