Your lifestyle determines so much about who you are as a person, the kind of goals you tend to make, and ultimately the kind of habits that exist behind these goals. For a really long time I believed that achieving anything in life was simply a matter of determination, perseverance, and of course motivation.
Turns out it takes a lot more than that!
Have you ever found yourself setting the intention to achieve something, but as soon as you get a good rhythm going you just stop? For example, maybe you create an exercise routine that works best for you and a daily schedule of when to exercise, you stay at it for about a week or two, and then you just stop. Was it lack of motivation? Were you not determined enough to reach that goal? Did you not have the willpower to just power through until you got to the end?
Was it all of this or maybe none of it?
The answer is yes, it was all of this. You lost motivation, your determination decreased, and with each passing day you essentially “gave up” on reaching that goal your perseverance slowly disappeared. But was that all that it was? No. What else was missing? The habits behind maintaining it all.
We like the idea of just diving into something and being able to do what it is we came to do. However, the reality is no matter how determined or motivated you are to achieve something, if that spirit is not backed by healthy habits to keep you going when times get tough, you’re ultimately going to fail.
The good news is that it’s never too late to start putting in place those healthy habits to stay on track with all your goals. Here’s how you can start creating those healthy habits today!
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1. Get specific about what it is you want
First things first, you have to know what you want. It’s so hard to create habits when you don’t even know what you are creating these habits for. For example, if your goal is to lose weight you have to know what habits you can put in place to not only help you the lose weight, but to also keep the weight off.
Habits you might adopt may include meal planning, exercising, creating a sleeping schedule, or eliminating sugar from your diet. It’s the little things that make all the difference with bringing clarity to what it is you are trying to achieve.
I like to think of this step as teaching a baby how to walk. They don’t just get up one day and start walking with no problems at all! They have to first find their balance, learn how to put one foot in front of the other, and understand that in order to get from point A to point B they have to create movement.
It’s a whole process that is not accomplished overnight. Creating habits works in the same way. Get clear about what it is you want, and creating the habits needed to help you get there will come naturally.
2. Create a solid and realistic routine
The next thing you have to do is create a routine that is going to allow you to implement these habits. What time of day makes the most sense to do something? When do you have the most energy to fully engage in a specific activity? Where do you need to be, and what do you need to have in order to complete something?
These are all things that you have to take into consideration when creating a solid and realistic routine. You can’t put something that is meant to be helpful and effective into action if you have no idea about when you’ll be able to engage in certain activities.
For example, if you are going to exercise what time will you be doing so? What kind of exercises will you do? What equipment do you need to complete your exercises for the day? Where will you be when you exercise?
Find the answers to questions such as these so that you can better create a routine that is ideal for you.
3. Engage in your routine daily
Basically, once you find a routine that works for you all that’s left to do is to actually do it. Follow the routine from start to finish. If you haven’t already done so, I recommend that you literally find pencil and paper, or your phone, and create a detailed list of what you will be doing.
For example, my early morning daily routine currently looks like this:
- 5:00am – wake up
- 5:15am – do 1st half of hygiene routine
- 5:30am – workout
- 5:50am – cool down/stretch
- 6:00am – shower/2nd part of hygiene routine
- 6:15am – do some school work
- 7:00am – officially start your day
And then from there I have a whole another schedule to help me follow my current morning routine.
Following your routine daily is one of the quickest ways to create a habit. This is because you are constantly doing all the necessary things to help you get to whatever goal you are trying to achieve. It may seem tedious in the beginning but once your body and mind become adjusted to it, it’s really no big deal.
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4. Find what works for you
When it comes to mindset and creating habits, you have to understand that everything will not work for you. Of course, there is a trial and error process that takes place in the beginning, but right off the back you will be able to tell what is going to work for you in continuing on your journey, and what’s not going to work.
Focus on what is working well for you. Whatever your goal is I can ensure you there are tons of ways you can achieve it. Some tips and guidance are helpful, others not so much. This is because the tips and pieces of advice that are often given to people are given to them because it worked for the one who is giving the advice away.
Take this post for example. I’m sharing with you my best tips for creating habits in order to achieve your goals. I’m sharing this information with you because it’s what worked for me. However, just because it worked for me doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you. Maybe there are specific things on this list that will work for you, and maybe you take on advice from other bloggers.
That is completely fine because creating healthy habits for you to engage in daily requires you to know what works well for you. Go through the trial and error process, filter out what works and focus on making that a habit for you.
5. Let go of what’s not for you
Plain and simple set it free. Once you’ve done the hard work of knowing what works well for you, the second part of the job is easy. You already know what didn’t work well, there’s no reason to spend time trying to understand why. Instead, cross it off the list and continue to put your focus on the things that did and are working in your favor.
6. Don’t try to follow the trend
This is so important. Just like figuring out what works well for you, you also have to ensure that they are working for you for all the right reasons. Yes, it’s hard to incorporate activities into our routine that were not a part of a trend at some point and time. However, the key to ensuring that these habits actually work for you is trusting that you are not doing it because it’s part of the current trend.
I remember when I started to practicing intermittent fasting it was a popular topic in the health and wellness industry. However, it wasn’t all good. There were a lot of articles as to why it was healthy, why you should do it, and even popular bloggers and fitness instructors who do it daily. There was also a lot of articles telling you otherwise. I had to not only try the practice for myself, but also understand my reasoning behind wanting to do this. Was it because it was part of a trend, or did I actually see a benefit in my health and personal goals that was working for me?
Figuring this out helps you avoid falling into the popularity trap. Yes, it’s fun when you’re doing something that everyone is a part of, but if it’s not helping you get to where you want to be then you have to set it free. Don’t take on a habit just because it’s part of a popular trend.
Instead be honest with yourself about whether it’s working in your favor or against you, and then make the decision to either keep it or toss it.
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7. Listen to your body
Whenever your body begins to respond to any new changes you are making pay close attention. A lot of the times we think that if we’re doing something as a means to improve our health no matter how our body responds it has to be good for us. This is not always the case.
Your body will tell you if something is wrong or is not working for you. If you’ve been exercising at the gym non-stop for a whole month straight, on average 2 hours a day, and you find it hard to do basic activities, listen to what your body is trying to communicate. You may be over exhausting yourself and heading straight for a major burnout.
Choosing to ignore this warning from your body can lead to serious problems such as dehydration, extreme fatigue, harming yourself during a workout, or even fainting randomly during the day.
You can avoid problems such as these by listening to what your body is telling you. If it’s telling you, you can handle more slowly increase that need. If it’s telling you the opposite immediately cut back. A big part of habit building and maintaining healthy habits is knowing your limits.
Don’t push past your limits and don’t operate below them. The happy medium is where progress happens and can be seen.
8. Find a small group of supportive people
Find people who understand your journey and genuinely want to support you. I know our instincts often tell us to keep quiet about something new until we begin to see the results we desire, but I’m telling you to do the opposite.
Find a small group of people who genuinely want to help you get whatever it is you want out of life, and share your new habits with them. This gives you people to help hold you accountable, as well as people to confide in when it starts to get hard and you want to throw in the towel.
9. Get people to join you
The other great thing about having a small support group is having people who will take part in your new habit. While you are creating these habits for yourself it never hurts to have others join in every now and then.
This not only keeps your journey fun and interesting, but it also makes you feel a lot less lonely. Instead you know you have people who are walking besides you on the journey, and not just watching to see if you fail or succeed.
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10. Have fun and be patient with yourself
Finally have fun and be patient! I know we all operate off of instant gratification but habits do not work in this way. When you create a habit, it takes a while to become accustomed to it. Once you do it still takes time doing the activity before it becomes a natural part of who you are.
Be patient with yourself. If you’ve been going at something for a week, and you find you’re still trying to get into the habit of just doing it and not constantly trying to motivate yourself to do something, you’re not giving yourself enough time. Run with the struggle and dig deep to find your motivation. If after a month that habit is not kicking in for you, try something new.
It’s not the end of the world and it won’t push you back from getting to where you want to be. It just means whatever you were doing wasn’t working in your favor, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t trying hard enough.
Conclusion
Motivation, determination, and perseverance are all the necessary ingredients needed in order to reach your goals and create the happiest and most fulfilling life you can for yourself, but that’s not enough. The key ingredient to making it all work in your favor is to have habits in place that are helping you get there.
Everything we do is designed by habits. Nothing is done and achieved just because we were able to do it. There is a formula that has been carefully calculated and implemented in order for us to be successful with reaching our intended outcome. Know what to habits are making that formula work for you, and stick with it until it is no longer serving you. Habits are essential to whatever you choose to be successful in, in life. Nothing great manifests without them.
-Xo
Kimora