What does body positivity mean to you?
I hear so many different perspectives on this topic all the time. I’ve heard that to be body positive means that you accept yourself as you are and don’t go out of your way to change anything about you. I’ve also heard that to be body positive is to encourage other women to achieve a healthier health status such as to lose weight (this one I’m not so sure about). These are just a few of the things that I’ve seen online.
I’ve even heard that only women can be body positive. In other words, it’s a woman’s thing.
I’ve heard a lot of things about what it means to be body positive both in the online world and outside of it. Some of it are good perspectives that I agree with, others are what I would consider to be perspectives that are just downright ridiculous. So, I’m curious as to how you may define what it means to be body positive, and do you think this is something directed only towards women.
I believe that body positivity is not simply black and white. It’s not one specific thing minus a ton of other specific things or vice versa. Rather I believe it’s a combination of a ton of important factors minus one big major factor.
Curious to know my thoughts? Well I’m anxious to share them! Check out what I have to say down below.
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Body positivity
What is body positivity? Like I said earlier I think everyone has their own perspective and definition of what this means. Some I agree with others not so much. I don’t believe to be body positive is as black and white as we’d all like to believe.
I believe there are many shades and colors that come together to create this beautiful picture of what it means to be body positive.
For me being body positive means that you love the various shapes and sizes that all bodies come in. Whether that’s big, small, round, short, or long, you love, embrace, accept, and support others feeling 100% comfortable and confident in their own skin.
That also means you don’t shame other women for the body type that they have. You encourage them and support them in choosing to love their body. And if there’s anything you want to change about your body, it’s no one’s place to make you feel bad.
Being body positive is not easy. Especially when you’ve gone a good chunk of your life believing that your body is not beautiful. However, just because it isn’t easy doesn’t mean it’s not possible to learn how to be body positive. I’ve got a few ways that’ll help you get started on the right foot.
This is what it means to be body positive…from my perspective.
What it means to be body positive
You love ALL body types
To be body positive means that you are accepting of all body types. You don’t put unnecessary energy into telling other women what they should or should not change about their bodies. Rather you see the undeniable beauty that exists in the body that they already have.
There is way too much pressure from society to look a certain way. When we choose to feed into those messages, they began to change our perspective about what we consider beautiful. We find ourselves questioning our choices and beliefs until ultimately, we are seeing beauty the way society sees beauty.
We fight against this by choosing to go against the grain. Instead of looking at beauty through one special lens choose to see beauty through multiple lenses. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes and a big part of body positivity is knowing this fact.
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You don’t discourage others from wanting to make changes
Being body positive is also supporting and encouraging other women in the ways that they need it. Even if it’s in ways that you don’t necessarily agree with. For example, I once read before that you can’t be body positive and try to change things about yourself.
This is so false.
Being body positive isn’t about looking a certain way. It’s about feeling your best in your own skin. This is going to look different for all women. Some women are going to feel their best at a smaller size, some at a bigger size, some with more muscles, and others with less.
Regardless of what size or shape is going to make a woman feel her best, it doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day it’s your body and you have to be comfortable and confident in your own skin. That means if there are things you want to change about your body you can.
This doesn’t mean you aren’t body positive. It just means you’re doing what you have to do to feel your best, and that’s nothing to be discouraged about.
You don’t compare yourself to others
I highly recommend that all women avoid this at any cost. All too often we get caught up in what makes someone prettier or sexier than us. When this happens, we begin to devalue the things that make us pretty and sexy.
Feeling beautiful, pretty, and sexy in your own skin starts with confidence. We build confidence by having high self-esteem. Our self-esteem comes from the beliefs, thoughts, perspectives and feelings that we have about ourselves. If we don’t believe that we are beautiful and amazing then that is not going to be communicated on the outside.
This is what causes us to constantly compare ourselves to others. In order to be body positive you have to practice self-confidence religiously. When you know that you are just as beautiful, pretty, or sexy as the next woman there’s no crack in your level of self-confidence or self-esteem.
When both are high, you’re able to avoid comparing yourself to other women. You’re also able to start supporting and encouraging them in the ways that you too need that support and encouragement.
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You don’t shame others
Plain and simple. Being body positive is understanding that we are all on our own journey of self-acceptance. That means you don’t take the time or put forth the energy to ever make another woman feel as though she is not worthy.
Don’t fall into the trap of seeing women in one way. See them for who they are and choose to walk alongside them as they grow into their best self. When you choose negativity over positivity it only creates more negativity and discomfort.
The last thing I would ever want for another woman is for her to feel and believe that she is not worthy. Despite her flaws, the things about her she wants to change, or even the things about her that physically set her apart from you, avoid shaming at all costs. It’s all just physical aspects that don’t reveal the true beauty inside.
It can quickly create a dangerous rollercoaster of adopting unhealthy habits as a means to cope with the way they see themselves and how others see them. Help them avoid this by reframing from shaming other women.
You support realistic ideals
Straight to the point don’t support or push forth unrealistic ideals.
Yes, everyone wants to live a healthy and active lifestyle. However, this looks different for everyone. Instead of following the latest trends, trying to look like celebrities and Instagram models, look to the things that are realistic. The things that are within reach and that you have complete control over.
Don’t get caught up in looking a certain way just because it attracts attention, fame, money, followers, or whatever it’s attracting that you desire. Instead stay true to your identity, stay focused on your goals, and understand that everything is not always what it seems.
You encourage healthy habits that are ideal for the individual
I see this confusion with body positivity all the time!
A lot of people think that in order to be body positive and to support body positivity you have to look a certain way and do certain things. Like go to the gym regularly, eat super clean all the time, be toned, weigh a certain weight, have great stamina, be super active and so on and so forth.
Wrong!
Again, body positivity is all about supporting, loving, and encouraging all body types to do the same for themselves. In other words, it has nothing to do with weight, activity level, and the ratio of fat to muscle for your body. When I see little comments like this all the time, I can’t help but think about how far from the line people really are.
Another thing that always gets under my skin as well is the idea that healthy looks a very specific way. Health is everything that is going on with your body on the inside. Not the outside. Yes, you can see when someone takes good care of themselves but what you see on the outside doesn’t always match what’s going on, on the inside.
So rather than point fingers and say you have poor eating habits, or you spend way too much time in the gym, or your body doesn’t look like mines so how would you know what’s best for me, try just being empathic and supportive.
Help one another out. Hear what others have to say and if it’s something you know you can help them with, extend the olive branch. But don’t force someone to be healthy or just assume that they aren’t because of what you see. Instead get to know them, hear their story, and only offer help and assistance if it has been asked.
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You help change the narrative about a woman’s body
My favorite part about the body positivity movement is changing the narrative about a woman’s body and her beauty. Every day we are exposed to society’s and a man’s idea of what makes a woman beautiful. However, very rarely do we ever see the realistic images of what true beauty is.
That’s why I love following and supporting women who are doing the work now to change that narrative. Women like Ashley Graham, Demi Lovato, Nazanin Mandi, Lily Singh, Shay Mitchell and so much more. These women are speaking out about their biggest flaws and what society would consider to be unpretty about them, and they are taking the power back by saying no!
And they are replacing the scripted narrative with new ones such as:
- “My big thighs make me beautiful.”
- “The extra fat on my tummy makes me beautiful.”
- “My failure to have a thigh gap makes me beautiful.”
- “My decision to not wear makeup and heels makes me beautiful.”
Change the narrative and you’ll change your perspective. That’s the hard work behind truly being body positive.
You unconditionally love and support other women
The bottom is when it comes to being body positive you understand that it should be backed with a ton of support. All women will feel a great sense of discomfort in their own skin, and be led to believe that they aren’t beautiful at some point and time in their life.
This will be coupled with low self-esteem, dangerously playing the comparison game, and constantly seeking that approval from others. Especially from men.
In order to do what we can to curve this and raise more women who are strong, powerful, and know without a shred of doubt that they are beautiful, we need to be unconditionally supporting and loving other women.
Praise her looks, her talents, her flaws, and everything else that makes her who she is. Tell her she is beautiful and help her realize this truth for herself. Don’t be on the side that wants to control a woman’s beauty, be on the side that wants her to define it for herself.
That’s what it means to be body positive and that’s what it looks like. It’s not at all an easy task but it’s very much needed.
What does body positivity mean to you?
-Xo
Kimora