Life. It’s constantly changing and evolving, and we as humans do the best we can to keep up with it all. Sometimes it’s a smooth transition, other times it can be challenging. But nonetheless it’s all a part of the process.
This year so far, I’ve grown in a lot of ways. With that new growth has come many life changes that I’ve had to transition into. I’ll admit, it hasn’t been easy at all, but I’ve been keeping a positive mindset and choosing to see the good in everything that has happened in my life as a result of these life transitions.
Life changes are meant to allow us space to grow and change in more honest ways than one, but that doesn’t mean we’re always ready to transition when it happens. As I already mentioned, I’ve been adjusting to a lot of necessary life changes this year and it’s been an uphill battle. However, through the good, the bad, and the ugly I’ve developed some skills to help me transition through it all a little bit easier.
Today I’m going to share some of those tips with you.
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What is a life transition?
Before we dive into this post let’s first clarify what a life transition is. I like to think of a life transition as going through life changes. A life transition is a life changing event. Something new happens in your life that causes you to change the way things are currently.
For example, a recent life change, event, or transition for me has been welcoming my baby niece into the family. I live with my entire family and it’s not in a big house. So even though I’m still attending school full-time and I have an agreement with my mother to remain in her home until I graduate, some changes I’m having to make in my life are in terms of creating more space for myself.
If you have children then you understand what I mean. If you don’t basically the baby is going to need a lot of space for their growth and development. When it’s a house full of nearly 12 people that’s pretty impossible. Not just for the baby but for everyone who lives in the house. Especially if you have another one who is only 6 months older than the youngest.
As you can imagine this can be a stressful life transition to enter into. You’ve got the new baby who needs a lot of time and attention, plus I’m going to school full-time, on top of helping with three other children, plus my grandmother who I look after, two dogs, all while navigating a career.
And just in case you’re wondering yes, I help out with all the children in addition to everything else listed here.
It can be very stressful! But these are what life transitions are. They are new experiences, moments, opportunities, or changes in your life that cause you to re-examine your current state of living. Some can be predictable, such as having children, but some can also be unexpected, such as having two new babies in the house who are 6 months apart.
Regardless of what kind of life changes you may experience these tips will help you have a better transition with them.
#1 create a plan
I realize this may be easier said than done. It can be hard to create a plan for something that you haven’t really planned for. When you’re anticipating things to happen you can anticipate the necessary steps that need to be taken. However, when life throws things at you that you may not have been anticipating, you have to just kind of go with the flow.
Believe it or not even when you just go with the flow of things you can still plan effectively. Planning for the unanticipated can be a little tricky but I believe there are things that you can do to help you manage it better.
The first is to understand the situation better. Even when the unanticipated happens you can still make a point to learn more about it. Doing so can help you not only better understand the sudden life change that you are about to experience, but also have a better idea of what direction you need to go moving forward.
The second is decide moving forward what will be best for you. Sometimes a life change doesn’t necessarily mean that everything for you in the present moment has to change. Sometimes it just means specific things have to change. You need to identify what changes may or may not need to be made as a result of this.
The third and final thing is to create a solid plan for how you’ll move forward. Once you have a better understanding of what this life change is and what it means for you, you can then begin to plan how to navigate yourself through those changes. Remember, the future is anxiety based. Therefore, it’s important to plan for realistic, necessary, and obtainable changes to help keep your anxiety levels low and your new direction in life clear.
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#2 ask for help
A lot of times when we find ourselves in a situation where we could use help, we don’t ask for it. For some this could be a pride thing, for others it could simply be the want to not ask for help. Regardless of what your personal reasons may be, I’m telling you to go against it. Ask for help especially when you need it.
When life throws things at us it’s literally a surprise. This means predictable or unexpected help will be needed along the way. There will be a lot of things to plan for, and some unanticipated roadblocks along the way. These are the things that you’re going to want to have help with as you go through life transitions.
Whether those are financial, medical, needing help with kids or other family members, your current living situation, or other roadblocks, you’re going to need help. Seek out and be open to as much help and support that you can get along the way. You may not think you’ll need it in the moment, but as your situation unfolds, you’ll find that it will be something you’ll need plenty of.
#3 don’t rush anything
This is such a big one. I know that when life throws so many changes at you, you may feel this overwhelming need to get through that phase of life as fast as possible. Don’t rush anything. Take your time to get through it.
When you rush there may be so many things you overlook, or you may find yourself not really doing a lot of necessary things efficiently. This is because when we rush, we are operating from the mindset of simply getting it done, but not necessarily solving the problem.
It’s so important to take your time. Depending on what the life change is that you’re having to transition into, you don’t want to find yourself in the same position a couple of months or years later. Instead you want to handle the situation with as much care as possible so that you can hopefully either not find yourself in this situation again, or be more prepared if a situation like this or similar ever happens again.
#4 save money
This is also very important. Most people have an uncomfortable relationship with money. Whether this is because you don’t know how to effectively manage your money, or you’re living paycheck to paycheck, for most people money is something that comes and goes.
Save your money. You never know what life is going to throw at you and when it will throw something surprising at you. So, the best solution to dealing with any unexpected life events is to be as prepared as possible. I’ve found that one of the most efficient ways is to have money saved up.
Treat this money as an emergency fund that you only dip into when you absolutely have to. I’m talking the end of the world is approaching and you have to get your whole family to a safe bunker underground type of situation. Yes, life gets hard and there will be many moments you will want to use that money to help yourself and your family stay afloat, but don’t.
Discipline yourself to not touch it unless you’re in a state of emergency. Especially when unanticipated life events happen. Having this money will help you navigate through it a little bit easier by making money be one less concern you have during this time.
There are also tons of money saving challenges and tips that you can find on the internet to help you start saving now. My best advice would be to set aside $5 every week, or from every paycheck, and add it to your emergency fund. You’ll be surprised how much money you can save in a year by just setting aside $10-$20 a month.
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#5 be patient
Finally, be patient. Life changes are by far one of the hardest things to transition into. Your stress and anxiety levels get out of control, old habits may begin to creep in, you can experience moments of depression, and ultimately feel as though your situation is never going to change.
These are all normal side effects of sudden, unanticipated, or unexpected life transitions.
However, the trick is to not let yourself wallow in these thoughts and emotions. Yes, it’s sudden and completely unexpected. So naturally you’ll go through a range of emotions before you truly do believe that everything will be ok, but don’t get stuck in this mindset.
You have to tell yourself early on that no matter what you will be ok. Be patient with yourself as you plan, reach out for help and support when you need it, and do all the necessary things to get yourself on track.
If you rush and you choose to be hard on yourself, you’ll only create a more unpleasant experience for yourself.
So, show yourself some compassion and empathy and you’ll be a lot clearer on what needs to be done to get to where you want to be. Regardless of what life changes life may throw at you, always remember to not get caught up in that moment.
Afterall it’s only a moment. Good or bad, expected or unexpected, life is made up of little moments. How we handle those moments, how present we choose to be in those moments, and how we grow from those moments are what really matters. They are ultimately the defining narrative of how we deal with life changes, big or small.
So, let’s make a deal. The next time life throws something sudden, unanticipated, unexpected, or maybe expected at you, instead of immediately freaking out choose to do a this instead
First, take a step back. Then take a deep breath, hold it for a second then release. Tell yourself that everything is going to be OK, because everything will be. Then slowly begin to work through the sudden transition that is going to happen by taking action with these tips.
And above all no matter what happens practice patience with yourself. The universe will always have your back.
-Xo
Kimora
Man you hit the nail on the head with where my family and I are at right now. So much transition with my husband’s health and keeping up with our 18 month old daughter while starting a business and becoming a stay at home wife and mom. I am going to work hard but be patient and not rush so I make good choices and not miss out on anything that maybe precious. Thank you!
Melissa you are more than welcome! Those are some pretty big transitions to deal with and I can only imagine how you’re handling it all. Yes, practice patience with yourself, don’t rush anything, and don’t make a decision unless you feel 100% confident that it is the right and necessary one to make. You got this! Stay strong mama!