I’m so sick of reading about the debate of what self-care is and what it is not. You guys know that I believe self-care is 100% personal, so there really isn’t, in my opinion, a right or wrong way to practice it. Of course, I wish the rest of the world would view self-care in this manner as well but the reality is that, that’s not the case.
Instead, there seems to be this huge divide about the right way and the right things to do in order to effectively practice self-care. Anything that doesn’t seem to align with those ideals and practices is automatically cast aside as not self-care.
This is frustrating beyond relief because self-care is not a surface level practice! There are many layers to it, and many different ways to practice self-care, and many different approaches to creating an effective self-care routine. Before we dive deep into how to create the perfect self-care routine for you, I first want to talk about the importance of self-care.
If you’re new to the blog here’s where I stand with the idea of self-care.
It is 100% personal. That means whatever works best or is most effective for someone else doesn’t necessarily mean that, that will be the case for you. This also means that there is no right or wrong way to engage in self-care because your needs are going to vary from moment to moment compared to the needs of everyone else.
The most important part of any self-care practice or routine is understanding what needs you have that need to be met in that present moment. The main goal of consistently practicing self-care is to achieve an overall higher and more satisfying well-being. This does not happen by just engaging in any regular self-care practice.
Instead, you have to understand what need you are meeting, what aspect or area of your health you are focusing on, and what the necessary self-care activity is needed in the present moment in order to help you achieve a healthier overall well-being. So, let’s take a closer look at how you can go about creating the perfect self-care routine for yourself.
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Creating the perfect self-care routine is not easy. However, after years of trial and error with finding a routine that works best for me, I’ve discovered the key to getting there quicker. Check them out below.
Know your needs
Before you can engage in any kind of self-care routine you must know what your needs are. As mentioned above, a big part of self-care is meeting needs that have yet to be met in the present moment. This is super important because a lot of the time we don’t even acknowledge how we are really feeling in the moment.
Needs to be met are things such as hunger, sadness, fatigue, physical exhaustion, poor mental concentration, and much more. Yes, they are feelings and emotions but they are also signals that our bodies send off in order to alert us that something very specific needs attention.
When you’re hungry your stomach grumbles. When you’re tired your eyes hurt, you yawn, or you may get a headache. It’s recognizing the little signs like these that help us learn how to be connected with our bodies.
So much information can be read simply through body language. You communicate so much about yourself and your health through the way you present yourself to others. This includes how you walk, talk, sit, your thought process, and even how you physically participate in daily activities.
Self-care is something that you should be practicing around the clock. It helps to reset your mind and body, and promote an overall better well-being.
Something to keep in mind about practicing self-care is that one size does not fit all, and one practice does not work for everything. This is something you have to keep in mind when you begin to identify what your needs are. You don’t want to fall into the trap of meeting a need with an activity that doesn’t fit the situation appropriately.
If you’re hungry you’re not going to solve that need by going to sleep, you’re going to eat some food. All of your other needs operate in the same way. Identify what the need is and strategize effective activities that can help you meet that need.
Know what self-care means to you
The next step is understanding what self-care means to you. We’ve talked about how there’s a big debate circling the internet about what is and is not self-care. However, I want you to think about self-care as something personal, because despite what the debate is debating, it is.
There is no right or wrong way to practice self-care because only you truly know what you are feeling, thinking, and needing on a moment to moment basis. Therefore, you have to know what self-care means to you.
Do you believe that self-care is the little things such as a spa bath, painting your nails, getting a massage, or even exercising? Or do you believe self-care is activities such as journaling, going to therapy or at least talking to someone you trust, meditating, or brain dumping your negative thoughts?
I personally believe that neither of these options are wrong! In fact, I’d argue that ALL of these options are considered self-care simply because in some way, shape, or form they are meeting a specific need for your overall health. Whether that’s a mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical need, the fact that you’re doing something to better how you feel in the moment is what really matters.
So yes, self-care looks different for everyone because it is different for everyone. And remember, one size does not fit all! For example, I may use meditation as a means to set my intentions for the day, and to de-stress when I need to, but someone else could use meditation simply for the health benefits of meditating.
Regardless of where you stand on what self-care is and is not, do understand that the way you practice it doesn’t have to look the same as everybody else. It’s 100% personal. It’s about meeting your needs in the present moment. It’s about reaching a better overall well-being, true fulfillment, and your greatest potential as a human being.
And that’s going to look different for everyone.
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Understand how your thoughts and emotions work
A big part of what makes self-care effective is being connected to yourself. You have to understand your thought process, know what your dominate emotion is, and specific situations or activities that ignite specific emotions.
For example, as someone who has very high anxiety levels, I do my best to avoid huge crowds. However, there are days when I can’t avoid this. On days like these I always make a point to meditate beforehand, engage in breathing techniques when necessary, and process it all through journaling afterwards. When I’m surrounded by a lot of people, I can easily become very overwhelmed. To help lessen my anxiety I do these little activities as a means encourage myself to get through it.
This is the type of inner work that you must be doing with yourself when creating a self-care routine.
You have to be aware of what your triggers are, situations that escalate you, and techniques that can de-escalate you. Once you have this figured out you can move forward with identifying specific activities that fit your idea of what self-care is, and that can help you meet a variety of different needs.
Know activities that you enjoy
This is where all the fun begins. We’ve talked about what self-care can look like, and two of the most important things to identify before beginning a self-care routine. Now it’s time to talk about the many different ways that you can actually engage in self-care.
Before we go any further with this section, I want to reiterate the fact that self-care is 100% personal and it’s not going to look the same across the board. As I mention some activities that you can engage in as a form of self-care please do keep in mind that a lot of these activities are things that work well for me, but that doesn’t mean they will have the same effect on you.
Self-care activities:
1. Meditation
This is great for resetting the mind, body, and spirit. I love to use meditation whenever I am setting a specific intention or am in need of de-stressing myself. I also believe that meditation is a great practice for putting out positive energy in the universe.
2. Exercise
This is another favorite of mines. I love exercising as a form of self-care because not only am I taking care of my physical health, but I’m also encouraging my mind to let go of any negative weight that was weighing on me at the same time.
3. Journal
I love to journal. I journal for various reasons some which include, brain dumping, reflecting on my day, holding “records” of important life events, or even to really just have a safe place to say how I’m really feeling without any repercussions. There are many different reasons why you can journal these are just a few of my main reasons for doing it daily.
4. Talking to someone
This is something I believe is so essential. A lot of the time we bottle things up and tell ourselves that we’ll “figure it” another day, when in reality we’re just looking for an excuse to not have to acknowledge how we feel in the present moment. Having someone who you truly trust and believe has your best intentions at heart, to just sit and listen to you, and help you process things free of judgement is such a freeing feeling.
5. Change your thought process
All too often we never take into account the way our thoughts influence our behaviors. If you constantly have a negative mindset chances are you are going to constantly be engaging in activities that are not in favor of the things you want out of life. The same can be said for the opposite, a positive mindset can lead to a positive and more favorable outcome.
All this to say that you have to change the way you think and choose to see the good or at the least the potential in everything that you experience, because there is a reason for everything you experience.
6. Actively work towards goals
I believe goal setting has been the biggest beneficial factor that I have added to my self-care routine recently. This is because I wake-up every day and I have something to work towards. If you just live your life day by day you’re never really moving forward. Instead you’re at a constant standstill waiting for the world to create something magical in your life.
However, when you have goals that you are constantly setting and working towards, you’re taking matters into your own hands, and thus allowing yourself to accomplish so much more than you may have ever thought possible.
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Put it all into action
Now that you’ve identified your needs, have defined what self-care means to you, have built a reliable connection between your thoughts and emotions, and have brainstormed some activities that you enjoy, all that’s left to do is put it all together.
When starting a self-care routine, it’s never easy. This is because you have to discipline yourself to engage in these activities routinely by ultimately making a habit out doing them. In order for your self-care routine to be solid, effective, and a true reflection of what it means to you, you have to make it a part of your lifestyle.
This means that you have to live, eat, and sleep your routine and the various self-care activities you do.
For example, every morning before I actually start my day, I spend 5-10 minutes silently meditating in bed. Every night before bed I always journal as a means to reflect on my day and release any pent-up feelings I may have held onto.
It’s the little things like these that make a difference of a world for yourself. When you engage in your self-care activities daily, you’ll see such a big difference in your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health and well-being. Which is ultimately the goal. To improve all these areas of your health so that you are living a much happier and more fulfilled life.
So, no matter where you may or may not be on the spectrum of what is and is not self-care, just know that at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter. Self-care is however you define it. It’s whatever helps you work on becoming a better you.
There is no right or wrong there is just doing. Start today, start now, work hard and remain consistent. The changes you will experience almost instantly will surprise you. And trust that it’s all for the better no matter how you practice self-care.
What does self-care mean to you? What are some things you like to do for self-care? Let’s talk about in the comments below!
-Xo
Kimora
Self-care is so important, especially these days. Journaling for 30 minutes every morning has been one of the best methods for me. Yoga, meditation, and time in nature are also key things I incorporate into weekly self-care.
It’s important for people to find what makes them present because every aspect of our lives in enhanced by our presence. Absence is coping mechanism, which is a survival method, but by increasing our ability to be present, and check in with ourselves, we can begin to heal through focused self-care routines.
Yes I agree! This was so beautifully said 💜. Thank you for sharing your self-care activities!