3 Ways You’re Doing Self-Care Wrong

I’m sure you’ve heard the buzz about how important self-care is.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while now then you know that I constantly talk about self-care and why it’s so important. Even if you’re not hearing about the importance of self-care from my blog, or the internet, or any form of social media, chances are you’re hearing about it somewhere.

There used to be a time when I was so confused about why everyone would talk about self-care so much. I’d go to the doctor and my doctor would always tell me to make sure that I was engaging in self-care. I’d hear it from my teachers all the time (college and graduate school), that self-care was so important and it was something we needed to do more of in order to be the best therapist, coach, counselor, or whatever we wanted to be, that we could be.

Believe it or not I even got told from my acting teacher about the importance of self-care, and that we (her students) needed to be doing it as often as we possibly could.

Self-care has been a popular topic in my life for a while now, and honestly up until about a year ago I wasn’t even the best at it. In fact, I had no idea what self-care was, what it looked like, or what constituted for self-care, that I didn’t even start engaging in it religiously until earlier this year. This was because it took me a while to really understand just exactly what real self-care meant, and to identify what that looked like for me.

What is self-care?

If you’re anything like I once was you’re probably thinking that there is no way anyone can do self-care wrong. Well I’ve got news for you.

You’re right. There’s no way anyone can do self-care wrong, at least that’s what I personally believe. Self-care is any activity that you intentionally do in order to take care of your mental, physical, and emotional health. It is because of this that you can’t do self-care wrong. Only you know the type of activities that are going to uplift you and make you feel better mentally, physically, and emotionally.

For example, something that tackles all three of these areas for me is working out. I absolutely love working out and I honestly feel so much better about myself, and about how my day may or may not go when I start my day off with a good workout. However, just because this is the case for me doesn’t mean that this is the case for you. Starting your day off reading for 30 minutes, or maybe sitting in silence with a hot cup of coffee may be the self-care activity that works best for you mentally or emotionally.

Even if it’s not, that’s ok! We’re all different and we are all driven by different things in life. We find inspiration in things that aren’t necessarily things other people find inspiration in, and that’s because we are all drawn to certain activities for a specific reason. So, don’t compare what your idea of self-care is to what someone else’s idea of self-care is. You literally can’t do self-care wrong.

On the other hand, self-care isn’t as easy as you may think it is. Yes, it’s engaging in activities that allow you to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally, but it’s not just any activity for any given amount of time. There is an art to practicing self-care, believe it or not, and it’s not something that can be accomplished overnight. It requires a great deal of commitment and consistency in order to find the formula that is just right for you.

So, as the title of this blog post stated, we are going to look at 3 ways that you may be doing self-care wrong, so that you can start doing it right. And we’re starting right now!

You’re not craving out the necessary time for self-care

Something that I have come to understand about self-care is that you can’t just do it in 5 minutes and be good. You literally have to schedule in the time to engage in self-care, know what activity you are going to do specifically, and then actually commit to doing that specific activity for that allotted time.

For example, every morning I get up and I work out. The time varies depending on what I have planned for the day, what I did the day before and how exhausted I am afterwards, and even based on what type of workout I am going to do. However, for the most part I’m either getting up at 5:00am or 6:00am to complete my workout. That is the consistency part for me, the fact that my workouts are always in the morning and I’m usually doing it at one of these two times. And yes, I set an alarm to wake up me 30 minutes before it’s time for me to do my work out for the day.

This is how you schedule in time during your day to practice self-care. Write it down on your calendar, in your planner, or even schedule it on your phone with an alarm. No matter how you do it just be sure to schedule that time in. Also, when scheduling your self-care session make sure that you are blocking out anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour of your time!

You do not want to engage in a self-care activity for less than 30 minutes (unless you’ve been doing self-care the right way for a while now, and you know the right activities that you can do fairly quickly to put yourself in a good mood).

This is extremely important. This is not only going to help you create the habit of intentionally scheduling in self-care time, but it is also going to help you be consistent in doing so. It may seem tedious in the beginning but it’s one of the most important steps for self-care. If you’re not intentionally blocking out time in your day to do a specific activity to take care of yourself mentally, physically, or emotionally, then you won’t feel as though you are holding yourself accountable to practicing self-care.

If you’re not currently do this as part of your self-care routine, I highly recommend that you do. It’s the easiest way to challenge yourself and hold yourself accountable for intentionally and rightfully so, taking care of yourself.

You’re not tuning into yourself

As mentioned earlier self-care is any activity where you are taking care of your mental, emotional, or physical health. While there are a ton of self-care activities that you can engage in which will tackle all three of these areas all at once, there are also a lot of activities out there that will only focus on one of these areas. Another important part of doing self-care the right way is knowing what part of your health needs the most attention the majority of the time.

For example, working out is something that I do daily but I also have other forms of self-care activities that I do throughout the day. While the workout helps me in caring for my mental, physical, and emotional health, it has a much greater impact on my physical health than the other two. Therefore, I also like to do other self-care activities that will have a greater impact on my mental and emotional health.

This is important because you don’t want to invest all your time only caring for one aspect of your health over the other. You definitely want to evenly distribute self-care for these three areas. Whether that is scheduling three different self-care activities at different times during the day, or breaking it all up over the course of the week (one day self-care for your mental health, another day is self-care for your physical health, etc.), you want to make sure that you are caring for all three areas of your health.

The best way to know what part of your health needs the most attention is by tuning in with yourself. Much like self-care, this can be challenging because it requires you to listen to what your body is telling you.

If your mind is cloudy and you find it hard to concentrate, or you’re having headaches all the time, maybe you’re having trouble sleeping, then you may need to make your mental health a priority.

If you find it hard to appropriately express your emotions, or you may be crying more than you usually do, or just feeling sadder than usual, you may need to focus on your emotional health.

If you find that you are always low on energy, or that it’s hard for you to remain active during the day (for example maybe you wake up, do something, then go back to sleep), or even if your body aches all the time, then you may need to focus on your physical health.

Knowing which part of your health needs attention is going to not only motivate you to schedule in that much needed time for self-care, but it is also going to guide in understanding what specific self-care activity you may need to engage in. Again, while there are plenty that will help you target all three areas, there is also power in focusing on one area at a time. So, don’t rush the process and don’t be intimated by the idea of having to engage in self-care more than once a day or once a week.

Instead remember that it’s all for the betterment of your health.

You’re not being patient with yourself

Finally, something that I personally struggle the most with, you’re not being patient with yourself.

Self-care is not something that you can do in a short amount of time and think that you have taken care of yourself. As mentioned earlier self-care is something that you need to do for at least 30 minutes. You need to be aware of what part of your health needs to be taken care of, schedule and commit to doing a specific activity to care for that part of your health, and be patient during the whole process.

Especially in the beginning when you’re just starting out with being consistent with engaging in self-care. It may take a while before you feel as though you are making a breakthrough, or before you may start to believe that self-care actually works, but so long as you remain committed you will eventually get there. You may also have to go through various activities before you discover the ones that are most effective for you and that you genuinely enjoy doing for that time you have blocked out in your day for self-care.

This is normal! This is also when being patient with yourself is going to come in hand the most. Practicing self-care consistently is going to help you in discovering tips and tricks to quickly shift your focus and your mood from a negative one to a positive one. However, this is something that can only be effectively done after you have been practicing self-care consistently for a while.

It took me 6 months of daily self-care practice before I was able to create self-care tricks that I am able to pull out of my toolbox and use whenever I need a quick pick me up. This includes tools such as meditating for 5 minutes, manifesting my truth on the spot, or even learning how to shift my focus from a negative topic to a positive one by pep talking myself.

While these are super simple self-care activities that anyone could probably do, it only really works if you know the right way to approach it.

For example, pep talking myself is more than just telling myself “I’m amazing”. It’s also a combination of manifestation and deep breathing techniques that help me regulate my heartbeat, center my attention, and shift my focus to something positive. While your form of pep talk does not have to be this way, just do know that using a pep talk simply to uplift your mood, and using it as a quick form of self-care, are two completely different things.

The overall point here is to not rush yourself and your journey of self-care. You will not master it overnight and there will be a lot of moments when you will feel as though you’re going nowhere with practicing self-care. However, if you remain consistent with it and you allow yourself to be patient with the process, you will eventually get to a point where you genuinely enjoy engaging in self-care, and it doesn’t feel like a chore, but instead a regular part of your daily routine.

Conclusion

If there is anything you take away from this blog post I hope it’s that self-care is not something you can master overnight. While there isn’t necessarily a wrong way to engage in self-care, there is a process that you have to undergo in order to find the right formula for you. There are a ton of self-care activities out there you can do to care for your mental, physical, and emotional health. No one form of self-care is right or wrong because self-care is extremely personal and unique to you as an individual.

As you embark on your self-car journey remember to do the following:

intentionally schedule in time during your day to engage in a specific self-care activity
know which area of your health needs the most attention and do not be pressured to tackle all those areas at once
be patient with yourself and the process of creating a consistent habit out of it

Self-care is so worth it and I hope that you will commit to making it a consistent part of your daily routine. Talk to you soon love bug!

-Xo

Kimora

3 Ways You’re Doing Self-Care Wrong

What is self-care?

You’re not craving out the necessary time for self-care

You’re not tuning into yourself

You’re not being patient with yourself

Conclusion

Free PDF For You!

Thank You!

Your copy is on the way!

Archives

Newsletter signup!

Thank you for subscribing!

Information