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I was once told to never depend on anyone to make you happy, you gotta learn how to do that shit yourself.
When I was told this I was very, very young and naïve. I didn’t really understand the meaning behind this or why this person felt the need to say these words to me. It wasn’t until I entered my young adulthood years when those words started to mean something to me.
After going through a really tough break-up, coming up on the last year of my undergrad studies, and starting a job in my field, my life was a hot mess.
I was a hot mess and I was honestly slowly sinking into a deep depression. That’s when I revisited these words that were once told to me many years ago and understood what this person meant by it.
I had to learn how to make myself happy, and going through that really rough year (with many rough years to follow after) I start learning just how to do that. Now I want to help you do the same.
Are you ready to take your happiness into your own hands? Have you had enough of looking to others for your happiness? Is your confidence so low that you find yourself unhappy with the life that you have created for yourself?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then you have come to the right place. Not only have I been where you are once before, but I have also discovered some of the greatest secrets (which really aren’t secrets at all) about how to live a happier life. The best part is these are things that only you have the power to make happen.
Ready to get into it?
Good cause I’ve got some tips that are sure to help you boost your confidence so that you can start living a happier life today.
Related Posts: 15 Goals to Make For the New Year to Live a Happier and More Fulfilled Life
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Set goals
The first step to boosting your confidence is to set goals. These goals should be realistic and meaningful to you.
So maybe these are goals to maintain a certain body weight, or go visit a state that you’ve always wanted to visit, or maybe even to start a blog or YouTube channel. Whatever your goals you choose is completely up to you. These just need to be goals that will motivate you to work towards them every day.
Goal setting may be tricky for some people and that’s ok. You just can’t set any goal in any fashion and expect yourself to set out to achieve them. No, no, no. When you set your goals, you have to make sure that they cover three important aspects of goal setting.
These goals must cover:
- Purpose
- Thoughtfulness/meaningful
- Require you to be active/productive
Purpose
Every goal must have a purpose. Why is this goal important to you? What will you gain from achieving it? These are the types of questions that you need to be asking yourself when you begin the process of setting your goals.
True story, I wake-up every day at 6:00am and even with waking up that early, I still find it hard to complete a lot of my tasks on my to-do list for the day. This is mainly because other tasks that I can complete immediately end up taking over, and I just end up putting the necessary tasks that should be completed for the day to the side. By setting this goal I will be giving myself an extra hour during my day to be able to complete tasks that need to be completed for the day before other tasks that aren’t that important begin to cloud my vision.
For example, say one of my goals was to start waking up every day at 5:00am. My purpose for setting this goal would be because I want to start waking up earlier so that I can achieve more during the day.
Pretty simple right? That’s all it takes to accomplishing the first step in setting a goal. Know what it is that you want to accomplish and have a purpose for setting it. Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to move onto step two.
Thoughtfulness/meaningful
In addition to having a purpose for setting your goals they also need to be meaningful to you. This means that all your goals should have some thought put into them so that you’re not just setting these goals for the hell of it. This is for sure the number one way that you are going to achieve your goals.
For the example used above, the thought that was put into making that goal was the desire to accomplish more during my day. I stated “I wake-up every day at 6:00am and even with waking up that early, I still find it hard to complete a lot of my tasks on my to-do list for the day.”
The meaning for setting this goal was because I wanted to “give myself an extra hour during my day to be able to complete tasks that need to be completed for the day.” That way I’m not only focusing on the tasks that serve as a distraction for me.
And that’s pretty much it for step two.
Related Posts: Make Your Goals A Priority: 5 Ways You Can Stay Motivated to Reach Your Goals
Active/productive
The third and final step of goal setting is to make sure that your goals will require you to be active or productive in order to achieve them. These can’t be goals that you can accomplish with your eyes closed. They have to be goals that are going to require you to get up, get out, be social, make connections, and work for your ass off.
One last time for the example above, the active or productive part of achieving this goal would be the fact that not only do I have to force myself to get up out of bed at 5:00am to start my day, but I also have to set the alarm to wake me up at that time.
Honestly probably the hardest part of goal setting is discovering ways to hold yourself accountable for achieving them.
While this step may be tricky at times it is totally do-able. The key component to this step is to just simply find ways to hold yourself accountable, and to practice that habit over and over again until you achieve it.
Boost your confidence by setting realistic and meaningful goals that have purpose, thought and meaning behind it, and will require you to be active/productive in order to achieve them.
That’s it!
Interested in learning more about wellness and how it can have a positive impact on your life? If so, sign up today for the free Live Well Health and Wellness Email Course where I’ll teach you how to create a personal and effective wellness routine for your everyday living.
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Make a plan to achieve your goals
Honestly setting your goals may be the hardest part of boosting your confidence because you have to believe in your ability to achieve them in the first place. You can accomplish this by planning the how-to of achieving your goals.
To do this you need to make a detailed plan about how you will achieve your goals. This means you plan out in detail specific days and times during the day when you will work on your goals, the necessary materials you may need in order to work on those goals, and maybe even where you will need to be to actively work on them.
For example, if working out for an hour a day is your goal you will need to take into account three things. What time during the day do you have an hour to schedule in a workout? Will this workout be done at home or at the gym? What type of workout will you be completing for the hour (HIIT, abs, or leg day)?
Making a plan to achieve your goals is important because not only will you be holding yourself accountable for achieving them, but it will help put into perspective the amount of time it may take to complete one goal before moving on to the next one.
This is important because you don’t want to get too caught up with working on more than one goal at a time, especially if you have poor organization skills. Instead of boosting your confidence so that you are happier, you’ll be creating a lot of unnecessary anxiety in your life as a result of achieving that happiness.
That’s a BIG no, no!
Related Posts: Health & Wellness Goals to Make For the New Year
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Invest in inspirational assets
The biggest part of boosting your confidence is surrounding yourself with motivating and inspiring things that will make you want to live a happier life. This looks different for everyone so don’t put a whole lot of pressure on yourself to create the perfect environment that screams “I’ve got life goals”.
The best piece of advice I can give you is to have 2-3 areas of your life that have a direct impact on the way you feel about yourself that you can focus on. This may be your workout routine, the people who make up your social circle, your religious practices, your daily wellness practices, or even your home itself (the way it’s decorated).
Having 2-3 areas that you can focus on will encourage you to alter the way you feel about yourself on a daily basis. I’m a big believer in the idea that we are all a product of our environment, and our environment consists of everything that directly influences our thoughts and emotions.
The 2 areas that I like to focus on to alter the way I feel about myself is my workout routine and the way I take care of my mind.
For my workout routine I like to keep my workouts short, simple, and effective. To do this I rely on my favorite YouTube workout coach Cassey to get me through a good workout that I know can be completed in the comfort of my own home (which is how I like to work out). Every morning when I wake-up I decide what area of my body I want to focus on for the day, find a relevant video by Cassy on YouTube, and proceed to complete the workout.
That’s one area that directly impacts how I feel about myself taken care of for the day, and it puts me in the right mindset to greet the rest of the day.
The second area I like to focus on is my mind. I love to read and I’ve come to discover that as my life gets busier, I find it harder to schedule in time to read. Believe it or not this has actually had a significant impact on the way I feel about myself. When I don’t take care of my mind, I don’t feel like I’m feeding my creative juices.
To fix this problem I make a point to read for at least 30 minutes every night before I go to bed. This will be a combination of books that I am choosing to read for fun, of books that are inspiring and motivating me to stay focused on my goals.
Here is a great list of books that will inspire and motivate you to live your best life and unapologetically work on becoming the best version of yourself.
Related Posts: How to Live Your Best Life: 8 Books You Need to Read to Help You Get Started NOW!
Becoming by Michelle Obama
Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals by Rachel Hollis
Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies about Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be by Rachel Hollis
How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life by Lilly Singh
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
Whatever these inspirational assets are, just make sure to keep working on boosting your confidence by investing in things that you know will directly impact the way you feel about myself. And honesty, it’s probably the best invest anyone can make.
Related Posts: 8 Of the Best Books for Personal Development
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Build a small support system
You are going to want to have a support system of some sort that will not only help you feel good about yourself, but also support you in living a happier life. Again, this looks different for everyone but the general idea is to have a small group of people that you trust and know for a fact will not judge you for the things that you want to accomplish in your life.
Having a small support system will surly increase your confidence because you will know that those people want nothing but the best for you.
Sometimes it can be hard for us to be vulnerable and open ourselves up to others. This is completely understandable, especially since the world can be a judgmental place. However, the best way to feel better about yourself, to believe in yourself, and to increase your confidence is to have your own personal cheer squad right by your side doing the same. With that amount of love, it’ll be hard not to be happy with the life that you have been blessed with the power to create for yourself.
Related Posts: 15 Health & Wellness Tips to Become A Happier and Healthier You
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Discover your purpose
The last and perhaps most important thing is to discover your purpose. Don’t get caught up on the idea that you have to remain at a job that isn’t fulfilling you, or that you have to go to college to get a degree to get a good job, or even that you have to be the best at whatever it is you choose to do in life.
Life isn’t about being the best, being rich, being liked by everyone, or being the center of attention. It’s about being happy and filling your life with people and activities that make you happy.
Discovering your purpose may come to you in ways that you may least expect it. This may be through a lover, through an inspirational blog post, through a volunteer workshop, or through a dream. No matter how it may come to you, you will know your purpose when it does, because it will spark a fire in you like nothing that has even sparked a fire in your before.
When this happens, you will know that you have found your purpose in life and that you will be on your way to living happier days. Discover it and chase it until the wheels fall off.
Looking for an unlimited amount of support from peers? Want to know how to start living a happier and more fulfilled life today? Join the free Wellness Warrior Facebook Community and start living your best life today.
In a nutshell, you can boost your confidence by:
- Setting goals
- Making a plan to achieve your goals
- Investing in inspirational assets
- Building a small support system
- Discovering your purpose
It may take some time, and it will require hard work, but I promise you’ll be on your way to living a happier life when you do.
-Xo
Kimora