Goodbye 2017 and hello to the future!
Another year has come and gone and I just can’t believe how fast the time has flown by. Like every year when the end of the year finally arrives, I’m excited to say goodbye to the past and hello to my future. I believe that each year we grow, learn, and become better and stronger versions of ourselves. Sometimes it’s in small amounts, sometimes it’s in large amounts. No matter how big or small that growth may be, we still grow from who we use to be.
This year for me has been no different. I have grown, I have learned a lot more than I thought I ever would, and I have become a better and stronger version of myself when it comes to stepping into my power. I have been more vocal, more aware, more active, more spontaneous, and all of that has made me a happier person. Growth is important and essential to becoming the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. So, as we approach the new year I wanted to take some time to reflect on this past year, and see how far I have come on my quest to becoming the best me that I can be.
Perfect Vision
This year I really focused on what I wanted out of life. I have always had an idea of what I wanted to do with my life. That included my passions, my dreams, my goals, and of course my ambitions. I have always told myself that no matter what got in my way that I was going to achieve everything I have ever wanted in life, and that I was going to do it my way. I have always told myself this with the intention of making it true, but I never had enough courage to follow through on those words. I always had a million excuses as to why I always had to put the breaks on something. Whether it was because school was a higher priority in my life at the time, or because my schedule was already jammed packed with taking care of the kids, I always had an excuse as to why I could not make my life what I wanted it to be.
This year, that mindset changed for me, and it changed for the better. This year I really focused on what I wanted my life to look like and I took the necessary steps to make it happen. I have a deep love and passion for acting, so I took up an acting class as well as another shot at a huge acting convention. I love blogging so I made a commitment to blog more than I use to. This year has been so eye opening for me in terms of how I want to my life to look. That alone has been enough motivation to make that vision my reality.
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Goals, Goals, Goals
I am the type of person to set a goal with the intention of achieving that goal. Those goals have always been something realistic, somewhat easy, and of course within my reach. The most important part of these goals for me, is that they’re not time consuming! It’s not that I have ever been too terrified to chase after goals that are extremely difficult, I’ve just always been aware of the circumstances that are presented to me around my goals, and of course how long it will take me to reach that goal. If you didn’t know then well you know now, I’m working on my patience moving into the new year, it’s something I lack a lot of.
For example, it’s no secret that I have always wanted to have a successful career in acting. Though opportunities have been presented to me to chase after that dream, I would be lying if I said I didn’t run away from a lot of those opportunities. It may have been due to financial reasons, travelling issues, or even my lack of confidence. Whatever the reason I haven’t challenged myself enough with meeting goals that I really wanted to achieve, like my acting. There was always something negative or insecure holding me back.
This year I finally challenged myself with my goals. I have always wanted to be an actress and I have always known that making a career as an actress was not going to fall out of the sky and right into my lap. So, this year I buckled down on this goal of mines and invested the time, training, and money necessary to build myself up to the level I would love to be at. I started and committed to an acting class at the beginning of this year, and I signed up to attend a modeling and acting convention for the third time (it’s really expensive). I was really nervous about doing both of these things because they cost money, and the convention is A LOT of money. However, they were both great opportunities, well worth the price and time needed to get the most out of it, and most importantly they both have put me one step closer to achieving my long-time dream.
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Health Conscious
I have always been so aware of my health. The good, the bad, and the in-between. In addition to being aware of my health I have always wanted to pursue a healthier lifestyle than that of my family. This has been a very hard and at times unrealistic goal of mines. It’s been hard because I live in a big family, and I have made the decision to not work full-time due to school being more of a priority for me. It has been unrealistic at times because working a part-time job while attending school full-time, left me with the decision to put what money I did have towards paying the bills. Which by the way I’m totally ok with that, my elders have done a lot for me to make sure that I have a good life. With the two of these roadblocks put together it seemed almost impossible to change my eating habits and exercise more.
This year I put all those insecurities aside. I got back into working out and I watched what I ate a lot more than I usually do. Though I did not achieve any of the goals I wanted to achieve this year with my health, which were to lose 50 pounds, workout everyday for at least 15 minutes, and adopt a clean eating diet, I did make some strives. I am proud of myself because I have committed to a healthier lifestyle more than I have ever done so in my life, and that alone was the confirmation and motivation that I needed to remind myself that I can do it. So, moving forward I am going to continue working towards a more health conscious life, and even when I achieve that goal, I plan to continue to work hard to maintain it.
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Risk Taker
I am not the type of person who takes risks. Why? Well because it’s a risk! Who knows if that risk will ever be worth taking? Nobody knows if any risk is worth the risk, until the end results reveal itself. That’s what so frustrating about taking risks! That’s also the reason why I avoid having to take any risks if at all possible. I know that in doing so I have missed out on a lot of opportunities and I have not been able to allow my light to shine as bright as I would like it to. As a result of this I feel like people really miss out on my heart, my mind, and who I really am behind all my insecurities.
This year I let go of that fear. It did not happen overnight, and it took a lot longer than I would have liked it to, but I did it. I let go of the fear of just being who I am and I took a lot more risks this year than I have in my entire life. I took risks in my acting, in my blogging, in my exercise goals, and even in my eating habits (eating things I never thought I would eat). As a result of that I have actually found myself to be more of three things. I am happier with my life, I am more satisfied with my decisions, and I am more confident in my abilities. That’s how it should be right? Well, it doesn’t come overnight, we have to work hard and stay committed to the process in order to get there. So, lets all be risk takers!
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Meditation
I have always been interested in meditation. I truly do believe that it’s the best way to heal yourself from the inside out, and the most effective way to maintain that healing. With that being said I have practice very mild forms of meditation. My mediation usually consists of me listening to music, writing songs and poems, drawing anime characters, and journaling. Yes, these were and still are effective forms of meditation for me. They really do help me distract my mind and find my center, but as I get older I am realizing more and more that they just aren’t enough.
This year I started practicing yoga, and even though it makes me fall asleep (yes you read that right) I absolutely love it. For most of the year this year, I committed to an hour of yoga one day a week, every week. It was so life changing for me, especially with my mindset and finding my center. I admit, the last half of this year I fell off of doing yoga, but I practiced it enough this year to know that I genuinely enjoy it. Therefore, so long as I choose to not neglect the mediation part of my health and exercise, I know that yoga is something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. Moving forward I would love to make yoga a part of my weekly routine again, and that’s what I plan to do.
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Happiness
I have spent a big part of my life simply being unhappy. Whether that’s unhappy with myself, unhappy with what I am doing with my life, unhappy with the people who make up my life, or even unhappy with where I am in my life, a big part of my life has been dark, gloomy, and very lonely. I know that it was never intentional, it just sort of came about with my introverted personality. I always isolated out of fear, people isolated me due to not liking me (reasons I have still yet to be aware of), and that isolation sort of just became my safe place. It was my security blanket that I carried with me everywhere and as a result of that I didn’t get much attention, or social interaction, and that created a life of unhappiness for me.
This year I worked hard on moving out of the dark and into the light. Upon entering my acting class this year, I got to meet a lot of awesome people who I can honestly say are people that I am still in contact with today. I know that it’s only been a year, but for anybody who knows me, that’s a huge milestone in my social life. In addition to that I have also reconnected with a good friend from high school. Since graduating we have been on and off with reconnecting with one another. However, this year our connection has been stronger than ever. As a result of reconnecting with this dear friend of mines, and building new friendships with the intention to maintain them, I am finding my life to be filled with a lot more happiness than I could have ever imagined.
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Looking back at these milestones now I can honestly say that I am hopeful for my future. I have struggled with finding my place, owning my truth, and making my life what I want it to be. This year has been so eye-opening and life changing. I hope and intend to continue to discover new things about myself that will continue to challenge and push me towards a more fruitful life.
What’s your year end review? Sound off in the comments below!
-Xo
Kimora