It’s funny how the littlest of things impact us in the most drastic ways. Like how a simple decision about whether or not to have turkey on Thanksgiving Day, can cause such a huge divide among family members. Why is that? Why is it that the littlest things have the tendency to hit us where it hurts the hardest? If anyone knows the answer to this, please share it with me, because I’d really like to know.
I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to once again find my place in this world. Some days I think have, other days I’m not so sure. Which is a normal part about being in your 20s I guess. You’re still trying to find your own path. The right one that was specifically designed for you to take. It just gets so exhausting and frustrating at times that all I want do is throw in the towel. Just stay put wherever I am in life and go with the flow. My happiness and fulfillment doesn’t matter, right? Wrong. That should always be the most important part and the biggest priority in your life. Your happiness and fulfillment.
So, what do we do when we aren’t happy or being fulfilled? How do we change that? Honestly, there’s no right or wrong answer to this, because this realization and emotional rollercoaster impacts everyone differently. This is where knowing yourself and being aware of your needs comes in hand the most. You have to be able to identify when things aren’t working out in your life. You have to be able to identify when you are not happy, or when you’re not being fulfilled. You have to be able to not only identify those things, but have the power and courage to be able to change it.
So here are some tips on how to find the courage to change the things in life that aren’t making you happy, or making you feel fulfilled. Or as I like to put it…
How to quit the life you live in order to start living the life you want
- Quit the people pleasing
Seriously we can’t subject ourselves to a life of people pleasing. I don’t know about you, but this does absolutely nothing for me. However, I will say, I am a people pleaser most of the time, but usually only if I don’t have to sacrifice anything meaningful. When you find yourself sacrificing things that matter to you, things that complete you, or things that make you happy, the people pleasing has to stop. Nothing or no-one (in most cases) are worth you rolling over time and time again, putting aside the things that you want or need, at the expense of someone else. I think it’s a beautiful thing when we are able to let our humanity speak for itself. When we are able to be so selfless that we don’t care about meeting our needs first. But that doesn’t mean you abandon your needs completely. When you find yourself doing this, the people pleasing needs to stop.
- Quit the job
I don’t know about you but I can’t stay put for long. I don’t mean this in the sense that I constantly have to be moving, but in the sense that I lose interest in a lot of activities very easily. My job is one of them. My mother gets so frustrated with me because I get a job and stick with it for a while, but I always eventually end up moving on. This is because something changes within myself where I need to answer that calling. Either I no longer find fulfilment with the job, or I don’t feel like I’m serving a purpose. Sometimes I just discover new things about myself that require me to make necessary changes in my life. Unfortunately, a lot of those changes require a rebirth in my career goals. Do I often feel guilty about it? Yes. Of course. Usually all the time. Will I ever let that guilt stop me from finding fulfilment? Never.
- Quit giving up on yourself
I think everyone falls victim to this more times than they would like to admit. I’m talking about when you go around in circles about what is the right or wrong decision to make regarding something. You spend so much time doing this that you just get to a point where you give up. You give up trying to make sense of it, and you give up trying to block out all negative emotions you may feel regarding the matter at hand. I know hands down without a doubt that I am completely guilty of this! I am always trying to make decisions that will benefit everybody, and very rarely does the results ever benefit everybody. Sometimes only half the people I’m trying to ensure benefit from my decisions, actually benefit from it. Sometimes nobody does! As a result of this I feel defeated and as though I have let people down, and that for me is one of the worst feelings ever. Don’t be the reason you don’t succeed. Stop giving up on yourself.
Life is a risk and with those risks come many decisions that are going to change the game completely. You have to beat everyone to the punch. You have to take the power in your hands and change the game your way. Stop giving up on yourself. Stop sacrificing the things that you know you need in your life, at the expense of other people. Stop putting yourself last. Quit the job and move on. Quit the people pleasing and find fulfilment.
It’s not easy, nothing in life is, but it’s so worth it. It’s so worth it to press pause on life and evaluate where you are. Are you happy? Are you motivated? Are you inspired? These are the questions we need to be asking ourselves often. These are the questions we need to be giving ourselves honest answers to. No matter how much it may hurt, we have to always be honest with ourselves. So as my journey of finding my place in this world continues I want to encourage you all to do something I normally wouldn’t encourage someone to do. Just quit. Whatever it is that has been bringing you down in life, may that be your job, your family, your friends, just quit.
Quit taking in the negative energy. Quit letting things slide by. Quit putting others before you as a means to spare their feelings. Quit putting yourself last. Just quit living a life that isn’t fulfilling, and quit filling that emptiness with things that are even more unfulfilling. The power is in your hands. Change the game but change it your way. Quit living the life you live in order to live the life you want.
I fully support you.
Xo
Kimora