So here’s the deal.
Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions. At times we have mental and physicals breaks, and of course there are many moments of self-defeat. Regardless of all these curve balls that are thrown at us every now and then, we have to find the strength to keep going. That strength comes from a reason to keep fighting. That reason comes from a purpose, which is born from a deeply held desire.
I’m no stranger to the harder side of life, and I’m sure most people can say that. The idea of making the decision time and time again to continue to move forward, no matter what life throws at you, is such an empowering decision to make. It’s empowering because the easy thing to do would be to just give up. To not make the decision to move forward, to release yourself of any emotional turmoil, and take the easy way out. When we make the decision to move forward, to embrace that emotional turmoil head on, and to steer clear of the easy way out, we are finding strength in ourselves and empowering others to do the same.
That strength and empowerment is such a beautiful thing.
Growing up a lot of my role models were celebrities that I looked up to. Specifically, a lot of actors/actresses on Disney Channel.
Some Disney Channel actors/actresses that I looked up to were:
- Raven Symone
- Hilary Duff
- Demi Lovato
- Selena Gomez
*Side Note: I’m such a Disney girl!
I mean that’s how I discovered my love and passion for acting! I was constantly watching all these awesome Disney Channel shows (That’s So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, Camp Rock, Wizards of Waverly Place, etc.), developing some type of attachment to the characters and the actors that played them, and finding inspiration to be able to make people feel the way they made me feel. They made me feel powerful and empowered to create that feeling in others.
There are two things all of these people (Rave, Hilary, Demi, and Selena) have in common. One, they were all on Disney Channel. Two, they have all been through something hard in their life before, that they have had to overcome. Whether it was publicized or not, every single one of these individuals have had to overcome something at one point and time in their life, that has been a gateway to something bigger in life.
Perhaps the most public one out of all of them, and probably one of my favorite and most empowering stories to hear, is Demi Lovato’s story. She started out as most people do. Sweet, innocent, and ambitious. It’s no secret that the girl has got some serious pipes, she makes good music, and she’s an actress. I mean triple threat all the way.
However, Demi has been very public about her drug addiction, her cutting behaviors, her bulimia struggle, and so much more. Ever since she made the decision to turn her life around she has been very honest and open about all of her struggles, and the journey to overcoming them. I love that about her. It shows that she’s human, she makes mistakes, and proves that perfection is an unrealistic thing. Even for celebrities. I find so much empowerment in her rock bottom story, and how it helped her get to a more powerful place in her life.
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My point is, there is power in choosing to move forward. These past two weeks I have been wanting to give up on a lot of things in my life. My job, my acting, and pretty much any goal that I have made a commitment to, and seems like an unrealistic goal to achieve right now in my life. Why? Because life has been so hard lately!
I’m experiencing a huge financial burden, my job is taking a lot of emotional energy out of me, and my acting seems to be at a standstill. It just seems like I’m on this very uneventful rollercoaster of a ride right now and it’s not fun at all.
Not. One. Tiny. Bit.
However, I can’t just jump off! I’ve already invested so much money, time, emotional and mental energy into it. Truth be told, part of me doesn’t want to just throw in the towel. However, an even bigger part of me knows that I won’t be throwing in the towel. I’ll be taking a step back to get my life in order. Which is never a bad decision to make in your life.
This is the realization and the decision I have come to after a very emotionally draining week. Just because you make alterations in and with your life, doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It just means you’re taking the time to evaluate what’s more important for your life right now, and where you can make the necessary sacrifices to regulate a little better.
Five things I’ve picked up from this past week about self-motivation are:
- Your life has to be in order if you want to maintain stability
- Your rock bottom story matters, so let it happen
- It’s ok to want to give up, just don’t
- Push yourself to a healthy limit, if that limit is breaking you, then back off slightly
- Don’t wait for life to change you, instead make the changes happen in yourself
It’s not a perfect system but it’s something to work with. It’s hard to compare your personal story to that of someone else’s, but that’s ok. There’s no comparison needed because life is a personal journey. It’s a journey that you make your own in order to own your own personal truth.
Earlier I said regardless of all the curve balls life may throw at us, we have to find the strength to keep going. That strength comes from a reason to keep fighting, which comes from a purpose, which comes from a desire. Last week I thought I had no strength to keep chasing my dreams, no reason to keep putting myself on this emotional rollercoaster, no purpose to see that exhausting ride through, and definitely no desire to try to stick it out.
But I was wrong.
My strength to keep chasing my dreams comes from the reason I made the decision to chase my dreams. That reason justifies my purpose. That purpose was created out of my desire to proudly be different in the way that I choose to give back to others.
To help make sense of this complicated formula (with my current number one goal in life):
Desire: I want to express my truth and tell honest and moving stories through acting. Just like the actors/actresses I admired in my childhood.
Purpose: I want to inspire, empower, and connect to people through acting.
Reason: Acting has been such an amazing outlet for me, and an appropriate way for me to channel my energy. I want to be able to give that opportunity and inspiration to someone in return.
Strength: It’s hard trying to pursue and maintain an acting career, but most days it’s worth all the ups and downs that come along with it.
Desire + Purpose + Reason = The Strength to keep moving forward.
Again, not a perfect system but something that I can work with on days when I feel like giving up. I hope if there is anything you can take away from this rant, it’s that the power to change is always in our hands. And that change comes from the decision to do so.
So have faith in your decisions and remember that no matter how hard life gets, you can’t give up, because you’re putting yourself through the emotional ride for a reason. That reason is to create change either in your life or in yourself. That change will be worth it in the end.
Be strong. Be brave. Keep moving forward.
Always.
-Xo
Kimora
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