Life is full of questions, choices, decisions, accomplishments, and many, many disappointments. However, those questions, decisions, accomplishments, and many, many, disappointments all pave the way for something bigger than us. Not only for something bigger than us, but for something greater and more meaningful to us.
I watched a Goalcast video over the weekend about how sometimes letting go of the thing you want the most, could be exactly what you need to do in order to achieve what it is you really need. The video talked about the beauty of unwillingly letting go of something that could have potentially opened many doors for this individual. The beauty of doing this was that by unwillingly letting go of that opportunity opened the many, and might I say the right doors, that she needed in order to move forward in her career.
The video was of actress Lisa Kudrow giving a speech about her journey in the entertainment industry. If you are not familiar with Lisa Kudrow she played Phoebe Buffay on the hit television sitcom Friends. In the video Lisa talked about how she got an opportunity to be a part of the show Frasier, which everyone knew was going to be a big hit, and sure enough it was. However, Lisa got fired from the show and basically found herself back in every actor’s worst nightmare. Fighting day and night to break into the entertainment industry and make a living doing the one thing that breathes life into you.
Lisa also talked about how when you are in your 20s, you’re the most vulnerable. You are the most vulnerable because you are becoming more acquainted with self-doubt, because literally everything seems to be at stake. Lisa’s response to the ever-growing feeling of self-doubt was that it’s not supposed to be easy. Nothing we do in life is meant to be easy. Instead, we are meant to have moments of uncertainty about which path in life to take. This is because our moments of self-doubt are meant to be nothing more than just moments.
Eventually Lisa did catch her big break when she became the second actress to join the cast of the sitcom Friends, which at the time was titled Friends Like Us. However, Lisa took her journey up until then, which included her embarrassing story of being fired from Frasier, and realized that it was actually a blessing in disguise.
“Thank God I got fired. There is a reason for everything.” -Lisa Kudrow
I found so much understanding, personal identification, and inspiration in this video because she was literally speaking to my soul! I’m currently in the process of watching the entire series of Friends on Netflix and I absolutely love the cast! They do comedy the right way, and trust me comedy is a lot harder than it looks. I actually really like Lisa Kudrow as an actress, I think she is absolutely hilarious! Seeing this video and grabbing hold onto the message hidden behind every word really helped put a lot of things in perspective for me in terms of my career goals.
Lately I’ve been in a personal battle with myself over my acting career. School was always the biggest priority for me, and now that, that’s over I find myself wanting to commit more to my acting career. In a lot of ways, I am doing just that, but in a lot of other ways there is still a lot in my personal life that is holding me back. I just recently started a new job which is back in the field that I went to school for, and I’m really excited about the journey it will create for me. However, I honestly forgot how exhausting it can also be.
It can be very exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally, and sadly I’m only three weeks in and I’m already feeling a lot of that exhaustion! I know the exhaustion is not completely from my new job. My body is coming off the overnight shifts, I’ve been sick the past two weeks, and that’s taking a toll on me as well. Plus, once again the family is in a huge financial hole, and though my mother stresses time and time again for me not to make this my problem, I can’t help but feel like I need to step in and take a little control.
So needless to say, my personal life is once again becoming more of a priority for me than sticking to and achieving my goals are. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, I mean everything in life need to have balance. We can’t have a thriving career without having a happy and stable personal life to return to at the end of the day. However, I’ve been feeling an unwanted urge to completely throw away everything I have been working for in my acting goals, just to stay close to home and make sure my family is ok.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just not something that I want for myself, and this video reminded me of that. It reminded me that even though I may not want to cast away everything I’m working for to keep my personal life in tack, maybe I need to slow down a little, and take on a little less responsibility, in order to find the perfect balance for my life as of right now.
This realization inspired me to write this blog post. This blog post was inspired by the powerful and very thoughtful speech Lisa was brave enough to share. That video inspired me to remind you all (as well as myself) some important self-care habits that we all need to adopt right now!
Self-care Habits You Need to Adopt Right Now!
- Express how you really feel
A lot of the time we think that getting whatever it is we are feeling off of our chest is our own personal ways of oversharing. A lot of the time this can generally be true, but in all reality, it’s not. As humans, we are taught and expected to keep a lot of personal things to ourselves, because we are taught at a very young age that people do not want to be bothered with our “problems”. For some this may be true, but it’s a very poor habit to pick up and take with you throughout life because the fact of the matter is, everyone needs to vent every once in a while.
5 ways to express yourself
- Journal
- Talk to a friend/family member
- Create art
- Write a poem
- Participate in a therapy session
- Take time to be by yourself
We all have a fear of being alone. Why? Sometimes being alone is the best thing that we can do for ourselves. Allowing yourself to be alone with your thoughts, your emotions, and your feelings can really help you find new and meaningful ways to connect deeper with yourself and with others. Yes, it can be scary, but being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you have to live a lonely life. It just means you value the time that you are able to have with yourself, and the solitude that comes with it.
5 ways you can be by yourself
- Meditate
- Individual yoga
- Deep breathe for 10 minutes
- Go on a walk
- Spend a day treating yourself
- Speak up for yourself
Weird to think of this as a self-care habit, right? Well, I’m making it one. Speaking up for yourself really helps you drive home the things that matter most to you. When you speak up for yourself you put so many things in perspective in your life that may not have necessarily made sense before. You become more aware of who you are, how your past has influenced who you presently are, and most importantly you learn how to advocate for yourself. This is a great practice to adopt in order to keep the balance you seek in your life.
5 ways to speak up for yourself
- Participate in a rally
- Tell your personal story to someone
- Point out when people are wrong about you
- Stand up for others, especially when you can relate to them
- Always let it be known what your standards in life are
- Exercise mentally and physically on a daily basis
You have to exercise your mind just as much as you exercise your body. Actually, in most cases you have to exercise your mind more than you exercise your body. But in all reality, we should be equally exercising both, our minds and our bodies. When we exercise our minds, we train ourselves to stay sharp, to stay aware of our surroundings, and aware of ourselves and others. When we exercise our bodies, we train ourselves to keep up with the many mental challenges we may experience on a daily basis. All in all, a healthy mind and body keeps you on your toes!
5 ways to exercise your mind and body
- Read for at least 30 minutes a day
- Work out for at least 15 minutes a day
- Commit to at least one day in a week without any technology
- Participate in clean eating
- Challenge yourself in new and creative ways as often as possible
- Know when to walk away
We all fall guilty of this every once in a while. I’m talking about when our pride gets the best of us and we just don’t know when to walk away. Which all in itself is a trap that we fall into because we actually do know when we should walk away, it’s just our pride that tells us otherwise. Don’t feel bad about it, we all face this from time to time, but knowing and practicing the art of knowing when you should walk away, is a self-care habit everyone can practice more often.
5 ways to know when you should walk away
- When you feel yourself becoming either verbally or physically aggressive
- When the other person refuses to see your point of view
- When you feel like you have hit a wall mentally and emotionally
- When the situation at hand has absolutely nothing to do with you
- When you know a negative influence is trying to penetrate into your life
There you have it. Self-care habits you should adopt right now!
- Express how you really feel
- Take time to be by yourself
- Speak up for yourself
- Exercise mentally and physically on a daily basis
- Know when to walk away
Not only can these habits be very eye opening and beneficial for your lifestyle, but they really can help transform you into a better person.
Before entering last week, I swore I had my whole life figured out. I always had a 5 and 10-year plan, and those plans always adjusted to whatever circumstances and new challenges were presented in my life. I always had a goal, I always knew where my life was taking me, and I was very confident in getting there.
Not to say that this has changed because it hasn’t. I’m just more aware now of how my present-day life will and is influencing the life I envision for myself 5 and 10 years from now. I had to learn how to express myself in a more effective manner in order to make my vision clearer, not only to myself but to those I choose to share that vision with. I had to allow myself to take more time for myself in order to trust my instincts with more confidence.
I had to become more comfortable with speaking up for myself, even in situations when I know I don’t necessarily have to, in order to remain rooted in the seeds that I have planted for myself and for my life. I had to teach myself to be disciplined in the art of exercising my mind and body in order to stay focused on the goals I have set for myself. Finally, I had to teach myself that walking away when I know I need to is not a sign of weakness, but a sure sign of strength.
These simple yet very effective self-care habits have transformed my life tremendously, and it’s only been a week! I can’t guarantee that you will experience the same growth in such a short amount of time, but I can guarantee that you will experience some growth, and whatever growth it may be will be so worth it.
So like Lisa Kudrow said, there is a reason for everything. Therefore, we should learn to be thankful of all the things that can and do go wrong in our life and in our careers.
We never know where our choices, may they be voluntarily or involuntary, will take us in life. But perhaps the best lesson we could ever learn, is that things always happen in due time, and they happen for a reason.
So be grateful and thankful for every little thing this life has to offer you. It may not always be what you want, but it will always be what you need.
-Xo
Kimora