Moving forward.
That’s something that I use to always be afraid of. Not like completely afraid of it to the point where I would stand in my own way of achieving any opportunity to be able to move forward. But afraid of it in the way of not always trusting that I know what’s best for myself and for my life.
That’s the thing though, we spend so much of our lives relying on others, or looking to others as a way to figure out the type of life we should live. We always try to mimic the lives of those we are in awe of, or to live better lives than those who live a life that we don’t necessarily agree with. Whatever the case may be, the point is we always try to live our lives by the standards of others, whether that’s a direct or indirect influence in our own life.
I was guilty of this when I was younger. I mean we all do, especially when we are younger because we are much easier to manipulate. However, as we age we just become more aware. More aware of everything, and that awareness truly transforms us in imaginable and unimaginable ways. The awareness of the life we live and the life we desire to live, transforms our thinking and our actions in necessary ways to honor the vision that we have for our own personal lives.
Never be afraid or ashamed of that, or of any transformation that has the potential to unfold at any given time in your life.
This week I took my first step forward in a long time. I was nervous, scared, guilty, and unsure about it all at the same time. But I knew it was a necessary step that I needed to take, and now that I have my life is about to undergo yet another transformation. I’m actually really excited about it…and nervous, scared, and slightly unsure, but none the less excited.
That’s how life should feel. You should constantly be experiencing a range of emotions because that’s how you know something is real, it’s true, and it’s meaningful. If you don’t feel that way, then you’re not on the right path in your life. Life shouldn’t just be a walk in the park, it should scare and excite you in ways that awaken your inner spirt. Only then can you truly put ourselves in the position to be able to move forward.
So here’s five ways you can do that.
Moving Forward: Five Ways to Keep Your Personal Hope Alive
Think about your own future
We have to be able to envision the life we want for ourselves in order to start the journey of achieving it. I’ve said this plenty of times throughout my lifetime, and I’m sure I’ll be saying it until the end of time. Here’s the thing, if we are too busy trying to figure out how to make everyone else’s lives better, happier, and more fulfilled, then we are not spending enough time trying to figure out how to do the same for ourselves.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s such a beautiful thing when people put others before themselves. But we can’t do it all the time. You know the old saying, “You can’t help someone without helping yourself”, or “You can’t help someone who doesn’t want the help”, or my personal favorite, “How the hell you gonna love somebody else if you can’t love yourself”? You know these sayings, right? Of course you do, because people preach it every single day.
Well there is a lot of truth to these sayings, and they speak volumes when you really take the time to listen to the message they are conveying. If we spend too much of our time, energy, and resources in trying to better others, then we are letting ourselves down. If you ask me that’s not fair. In fact, I think it’s an easy way to run away from whatever it is in your life that you may be afraid of.
But there always comes a time when you stop and you think about your life and your future. Some people simply ignore that longing and continue down a path not meant for them. Others pay attention and make the necessary changes needed to achieve those results. You have to think about your own personal future from time to time because it’s how you move forward in your life. You have to believe that you can make changes in the world and in the lives of others, if you are willing to make the changes needed in your life, to be able to change the lives of others. And the only way to do that is to not neglect your own personal future.
Take baby steps
Nothing in life is easy nor will it come easy. We have to work our asses off for everything beneficial that we want, and that’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I do know that at times this can be a self-defeating action and thought. There are times when we can get so caught up in what’s going on in our head, and all the hard work we see and know we a putting in, but the lack of results that are showing, that we can convince ourselves to give up.
And for some we do give up.
But we can’t give up. Yes, hard work pays off and sometimes it may not pay off the way it should or the way you expected it to, but that’s never a reason to give up. Instead, you use that as motivation to keep moving forward. Know that sometimes life requires baby steps to get to the next level, chapter, or phase in your life. Don’t be ashamed if you find yourself taking these baby steps.
“Slow and steady win the race”. Remember that, slow and steady win the race. It’s not always about speed or getting there first. It’s about pacing yourself wisely and getting there when you can and when you are meant to. The same knowledge can be applied to the idea of moving forward. Don’t force yourself to move forward out of desperation to see change and get results. Pace yourself with this process because the results of your future will reflect the hard work and dedication you made for it.
Don’t hold back
I was once told that I hold myself back from a lot of my own personal potential. For a long time I believed this to be a huge misunderstanding of who I am and how I operate in this world. But I also knew deep down inside that anyone who has ever told me this was right. I knew this to be true because I could feel it within myself. I could feel when I have held myself back because it’s accompanied with a deep sense of guilt, embarrassment, and failure that I unleash unto myself.
I’m here to tell you that we shouldn’t’ hold back, not ever. Yes, there will be times in our life when our nerves take over, or we just don’t want to give 110% for whatever reason. That’s okay, it’s a part of being human. Those are moments that are bound that happen as we go through life, and I don’t think they are necessarily moments we should try to avoid. We can only anticipate the things that will come, but we’ll never truly know until that moment has arrived.
Holding back sets us back. When we choose to not give 100% we will not move ten steps forward. When we half-ass something, we miss a much-needed step in our lives. Again, it’s another way to take the easy way out and to avoid the road less travelled. So don’t hold back, not ever.
Don’t think too far ahead
One very important lesson I have learned so far this year, is that humans are trained to anticipate everything. Yes, I believe it’s a very helpful skill to be able to plan things ahead (even though 85% of the time nothing goes as planned), but we can’t run away with our ability to be able to do so. Instead, we just need to be more aware and more conscious of how much of our planning is based off of anticipation.
Don’t think too far ahead, don’t try to get it right every single time. Don’t even try to expect the unexpected because it’s just really impossible to do. All we can do is allow ourselves to live truthfully and be present in every moment we are presented with. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing the outcome of something, or where your life is going to take you five years from now. Just like there’s nothing wrong with planning where you would like to be in your life five years from now, but we can’t anticipate the unknown.
Don’t compare nor compete
Don’t think about the life you think you should live, and don’t compare the live that you do live to the life of others. It does nothing good nor positive for yourself, your life, and your place in this world. It will only create a great sense of uncertainty and play fiercely on your insecurities. The best way to move forward is to keep all the attention on yourself.
Remember what your five or ten-year plan is. Remember what your childhood dreams were. Remember the reasons why you live the life that you currently live, and don’t every steer clear of all of those reasons. They are what guides you and they are what keeps you grounded. We’re different for a reason, and we live different lives for a reason. Therefore, there’s no reason to compare or compete for a “fulfilled” and “happy” life based off of what you see or believe to be true under false circumstances. True fulfillment and happiness always comes from within. Nobody can give that to you but you.
So move forward. I’m making the decision to move forward with my life starting today. It’s time for me to finally take that next step, and I can’t remain where I am any longer, especially because I’m not getting any kind of fulfillment in my life. If you too find yourself in this position as well, then don’t suffer and don’t force yourself through the suffering. Take control, take action and move forward.
Keep in mind these five ways to hold on to your own personal hope. Keep in mind that, that hope is something we have to keep alive within ourselves, because it is the fuel that keeps us going. Always forward, never backwards
Always.
Talk to you soon love bugs!
-Xo
Kimora