Life…what’s it all about?
Well I for one do not know. Or at least I don’t know what it’s ALL about. What I do know is that life is meant to be a journey that we embark on individually in order to find our place in this world. By our place in this world I mean getting to the point in life where we feel complete. That completeness comes from personal growth, acceptance, and understanding of who you were 10 years ago, compared to who you are now.
That journey can and may be anywhere from living a very quiet and simple life, to living a very loud and adventurous life. It can be a journey of pleasing others to learning how to please yourself. A journey of putting up with everything and thinking your potential is limited, to standing up for yourself and allowing your potential to be released. Whatever the case may be, life is meant to be fulfilling.
However, not everyone lives a fulfilling life, or is able to identify what a fulfilling life means or looks like. This may and can be due to various reasons. Regardless of what those reasons may be, I personally believe that when we don’t choose or allow ourselves to live very fulfilling live, it is a life taken for granted. It’s taken for granted because we have become accustomed to the habit of limiting ourselves to so many possibilities.
I am aware that sometimes those limiting moments are not always by choice, but I am also aware (and a firm believer) that the moments that have the potential to be limiting, are also moments that hold plenty of opportunity.
Opportunity for what? Opportunity for us to make those moments whatever we are cable of making them. Which also includes not allowing them to be as limited as they have the potential to be. So how do we change this? How do we make life and those moments of opportunity more fulfilling?
Well, this looks different for everyone and the circumstances of how to approach this can be different dependent upon the situation at hand. However, it’s possible to turn those moments, and your life around. Today, I’m sharing with you my top 10 secrets to living a more fulfilled life.
- Know what you want your life look like
All too often we rely on others to tell us how to live our life. Why? I never understood this thinking, not even as a child. I understand that when we are younger we are easier to manipulate, and that we have all these societal standards of “beauty” and “normal” to pressure us into looking and living life a certain way, but why relinquish that freedom? The freedom to make your life what you desire it to be. Especially when you are older.
Knowing what you want your life to look like helps a great deal in path of life you choose to create for yourself. It helps because it serves as a focal point, something for you to constantly aim to achieve on a daily basis. Having that focal point will motivate you to keep your head on tight, and your intentions purposely serving the greater good of your future. So know what you want your life to look like and hold tight to it.
- Know that #1 will change many times
While it’s good to know what you want your life to look like, you also must understand that, that vision will change MANY times throughout your life. You may add to that vision, or you may take away. You may even completely change that vision altogether. The way and how often your desired life alters is all dependent upon the path you take leading up to your future.
Lets be honest, we greet the future differently every single day! We live every single day slightly different from the last. So dependent upon how we greet the new day, how we maneuver through that day, and how we choose to end that day, will alter our future vision in some way. It may not be noticeable and immediate at first, but eventually the very little changes we have made will be seen. Those changes are nothing to fear or worry about, it’s simply the result of our individual growth.
- Be selective with the people you allow into your life
It’s not a bad thing to have a life filled with a lot of people. However, if we are being realistic about this idea, not every single person who makes up the social circle of our lives, are people we can truly count on. They may simply be people that we have met through other friends. They may be people we have known for a good portion of our life, but have never broken the “acquaintance” barrier with them. Or they may even be people that we find ourselves connecting or reconnecting with for a short period of our lives.
Regardless of who they may be, and for what part or period of our live they may serve, we should always be mindful of the ones we are choosing to keep around. People have just as much potential to bring harm to you as they do to bring joy to you. In order to live a fulfilled life, you have to be willing to allow more joy than pain in your life, and sometimes the easiest way to achieve that is to be mindful of those you keep around.
- Do one thing you love every single day
One of the most fulfilling ways to ensure that you are living a more fulfilled life than you usually do, is to make sure that you are doing things that you love. For a lot of people this could mean doing something you enjoy all day every day. As much as that is true, it’s not the only way to participate in things that you love. It could be something as little as setting aside an hour a day doing something that you find pure joy in.
The beauty and power in doing one thing that you love every day is that it keeps you feeling alive. Life has the tendency to drain us at times. It can drain us of our joy, our energy, and believe it or not even our passions. If we do something every day that we love and find passion in, we are allowing our lives to be restored for those moments when we feel it is being drained.
- Do one thing that scares you every single day
The opposite of what I just told you, I know, but hear me out. Just like doing something we love can restore our lives, doing something that scares us can do the same thing (restore us). How? Well, I feel like the formula is pretty simple. When we have things in our life that may pose as a threat of some kind, our instincts may tell us to run away. To avoid it at all costs and stay in our comfort zone.
Well I say the opposite (unless it’s a life or death type situation, or puts you or someone else at risk of safety). When we step out of our comfort zone we are allowing ourselves to transform in some mysterious way, shape, or form. Stepping out of your comfort zone requires a lot of courage and bravery to do so, but when we do it a lot of amazing things can happen as a result of it. Amazing things such as bringing back some much-needed light, thrill, or clarity into our lives. Basically, it gets our adrenaline running which inspires us to impulsively act upon that adrenaline rush. In my own personal opinion, this can lead us to discover unbelievable and completely undeniable things about ourselves and about life. Such as realizing that your fears are stopping you from living your life to the fullest.
- Take big risks
I totally get the safety and happiness that comes from living in your own little bubble, and blossoming as much as you can within that bubble. But if we’re being honest guys, that’s also called playing it safe. Taking risks is such a thrilling and scary thing all at the same time. It’s thrilling because there are so many adventures that can take place, there are so many possibilities that can take form, and most importantly there is so much we can learn about ourselves.
It’s scary because we don’t always know where these possibilities can lead us to. We don’t always know the things about ourselves we may discover, and we don’t always know the types of adventures we may find ourselves embarking on. Regardless of all the thrills or scares that may come with taking big risks, one thing that will always remain true, is that when we take big risks, we are ALWAYS one step ahead of the curve. Why? Because, we are putting ourselves in a position of vulnerability where literally the only thing that can hurt us from doing so, is refusing to allow ourselves to experience some personal growth from it.
- Stick to your own personal truth
Easier said than done, trust me I know! It can be a challenge to constantly and consistently defend your own honor. Especially when you don’t really have anyone in your corner supporting you along the way. However, I’m here to tell you to stick to your guns. Honestly guys. Nobody will ever truly know the path you have taken to get to where you are in your life, better than you. Nobody will ever truly understand the decisions you have had to make in order to plant your feet on the ground that currently rests beneath you, better than you.
Nobody knows your struggle, your journey, or your truth better than you! So why not keep that for yourself? You don’t have to surrender your honor for or to anybody. That is yours for the keeping, and any pain or glory that comes along with it is yours for the taking. So honor it truthfully and proudly and despite what life throws at you, don’t ever tell yourself that what you feel and know to believe to be true isn’t, because it always is. All we have it our own personal truth, the truth as we see it from our perspective. That doesn’t make us right or wrong, it just is what it is, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
- Spread kindness
Kindness is your friend! I truly believe that we are treated by others and the universe accordingly to the way we treat others and the universe. Therefore, if we are kind and gentle towards others, we will receive kindness and gentleness in return. A very key ingredient to living a fulfilled life is knowing that you are actively doing your part to make this world a better place. Whether that’s by lending a helping hand wherever it’s needed, or simply choosing to give one hug a day, the one way anyone can make this world a better place for all to live in is by choosing to always be kind.
Kindness should not be taken for weakness, and I know there are moments when it is. However, don’t be that person who has that perspective. Kindness is not weakness, if anything it is pure strength. It’s hard to always choose to be the bigger person, and to walk away from things when you really don’t want to. It’s hard to always choose to rise above any negativity that may be thrown your way, but I promise you when you do you are the one who is benefiting. You are benefiting because you are choosing to be a good, happy, and kind person, and because of that you will live a very happy and fulfilled life.
- Protect the good people in your life
Good people are so hard to find, so when we find them we have to protect them. When I speak of good people I’m not just speaking of close friends or family members. I’m not even necessarily speaking of your support system. I’m speaking of people who are ALWAYS 100 (they keep it real with you) with you all the time. The people who are not afraid to hurt your feelings if they know that it will better you as a human, and your overall life. The people who are willing to always tell you the truth, may it be good or bad, simply because they know you are deserving of nothing less.
These are the people that we have to protect. These are the people that we do not run into in random places, or have the pleasure of meeting on a daily basis. They are people who come into our lives at very critical periods, and they are the ones who will always end up staying by your side, even when the storm has passed. When you find them hold tight to them and always express your appreciation and gratitude for them. They are truly special people who make up a very special part of your life, which makes your life have all the more meaning and be all the more worthwhile. So when you find them, protect them.
- Live every day as if it were your last
We’ve heard it a thousand times, live everyday as if it were your last. Don’t take any day for granted, even the bad ones. There is a lesson to be learned, a light to be seen, and a story to be told with each and every day that passes us by. With that being said we have to train ourselves to be present in every given moment. We have to train ourselves to appreciate every little detail that surrounds us, and to be more aware of our surroundings.
We can’t let the things that matter most to us slip by simply because life is not what we want it to be right now. Trust me, I’ve been in this place many, many, many times before. So many times I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and just give up completely. So many times I’ve wanted to just live the life that I am currently living, because I believed that I would never get to the place in life that I wanted to be at. I’m here to tell you that I was wrong, and if you too find yourself thinking this way, you are wrong. Appreciate what’s right in front of you and do your best to make the most of it. Live every day as if it truly was your last, because you never know when life will throw a curve ball at you.
Recap!
What’s my secret to living a more fulfilled life? Here are my top 10 secrets, and the topics we discussed above!
- Know what you want your life to look like
- Know that #1 will change many times
- Be selective with the people you allow into your life
- Do one thing you love every single day
- Do one thing that scares you every single day
- Take big risks
- Stick to your own personal truth
- Spread kindness
- Protect the good people in your life
- Live every day as if it were your last
Conclusion
Life is hard and it gets tough from time to time. However, that’s no reason to just give up on the things that you want. If anything, it’s all the more reason to fight for them. Life is all about choices, it’s all about going on a journey that can and will lead you to places you may have never imagined. Life is about discovering who you are and where you fit in, in this world.
It’s not about trying to please others, or living a life that you think you are meant to live based off of the standards and expectations of others. It’s about knowing what you want and making a game plan on how you are going to get it. So what if it takes you 50 years to get there? If you are passionate and determined enough, I promise you will get there when you get there. When it’s meant to be, not when you’re constantly trying to forcefully make it happen. No matter how long it takes you, the important thing is to never stop wanting, fighting, and striving for the life that you want for yourself.
The minute we give up on that we have relinquished all control. However, if we keep pushing ourselves for it, we will eventually get it. I want that not only for myself, but for everyone!
So please don’t stop. Not ever.
-Xo
Kimora