Hello again! Hopefully you read part one of this post. If not, you can read that here! This post is a piggy pack off of part one in 5 tips to help you learn how to be in control of your life.
I bet you’re probably wondering why I decided to write such a post. Well, while I would like to say that I just woke up one day and had the idea to write such a post, that’s just not true. In fact, the inspiration for writing part one and two of this topic came from an interaction I had with a co-worker. The interaction wasn’t all bad but it did open my eyes to the type of person they were. They were the type of person who likes to be in control.
While being in control isn’t a bad thing, I personally believe it’s a very unhealthy behavior to exhibit when you want to be in control of others. Which is exactly what my co-worker wanted to do. They wanted to be in control of the situation, my role in the situation, and the end result of the entire situation. However, life just doesn’t play out like that all the time. Things happen organically and we need to allow those organic moments to unfold the way they are intended to. Not try to grasp control the minute we are uncomfortable or unsure about the potential end result of an organic situation.
That’s not to say that there are not moments and situations in our life where we do need to take the initiative to take control, because there most certainly are. However, when particularly speaking in terms of your life and your integrity as a human/individual, don’t ever try to give that power of control to anybody else. I promise it will not work in your favor in the end.
So, without further a-do here are 5 more tips to help you learn how to be in control of your life.
Here are 5 more tips to help you learn how to be in control of your life
1) Don’t engage in power struggles
A power struggle is when you compete with someone else to have the power, which basically means to be the one who calls the shots. If we are being honest with ourselves we have all found ourselves in a power struggle at some point and time in our life. May that have been with a family member, a stranger, or a friend, we have all tried to have the ball in our court at some point and time.
Here’s the thing about power struggles, they do absolutely nothing for us except drain us of all our all energy. It’s time and energy wasted on something that could have been put towards something beneficial and productive.
When we have the courage to let others have the power (especially when they need it) we are letting ourselves know that we don’t need power in order to be successful, to be strong, or to be in control of anything. Instead we are teaching ourselves the moments in life when we do need to step up, take control, and have the power. As well as moments in our life where we acknowledge that maybe someone else needs to feel the strength that comes with being in control for once in their life, so we are giving it to them to promote their personal growth.
2) Block out any negativity
When we encounter negative people, we are faced with the challenge of overcoming them. Not overcoming them in a sense of placing higher value on ourselves than on them, but overcoming them in a sense of being BETTER than them. By better I mean by ALWAYS choosing to be the BIGGER PERSON. This is a challenge because often times our pride gets in the way of our logical thinking and instinct combine with pride might tell us to fight back, instead of just walking away.
If we allow ourselves to sink down to their level, we are taking away the value that we have placed on ourselves. The value of acknowledging that we know right from wrong, and the value of having the power to choose our battles wisely. However, when we allow ourselves to be the bigger person, no matter how hard it may be (and trust me I know there are times when it’s hard to choose to be the bigger person) we are making the value that we have for ourselves be known by others. When this happens, people can’t help but respect you for your decisions and the actions that follow. That’s a control over yourself that you can always have should you choose not surrender it out of pride.
3) Embrace any positivity
When we encounter positive people, we are faced with the challenge of instilling something beautiful and meaningful within ourselves. I say this is a challenge because self-worth is not something we are born with, and it’s not something we discover overnight. It’s something that we develop and learn as we age. When we have positive people in our lives who genuinely want nothing but the best for us, it forces us to see the beauty and the good in ourselves that they see in us.
Sometimes this may be hard because society has taught us that to think highly of ourselves is to be vain. However, this is just not true. There is a difference between vanity and confidence, and it’s important to be able to distinguish the difference between the two. Vanity is accompanied by an excessive amount of pride or admiration for yourself. Confidence is accompanied by personal self-assurance of your character and abilities. Being confidence in life, and always choosing to all positivity into your world, will guide you to a life of happiness where you are forced to embrace and accept whatever it is that others see in you, that has helped you see that very same thing in yourself.
4) Don’t forget about you
We have to remember that we are human too, which means that we need some major TLC (tender love and care) every now and then too. Yes, you can depend on others to make sure that you are receiving this kind of love, but ultimately you should be the one to make sure that YOU are taking care of you. Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be expensive or out of this world crazy. It can literally be something as simple as taking 30 minutes of your time, once a day to do whatever it is that you need to do in order to engage in self-care.
The importance of doing this really helps to ensure that we are taking the time to take care of ourselves in order to be in the best shape possible for others. This includes physically, mentally, and emotionally. When we are in a good frame of mind, when we feel good about ourselves, and we are confident and secure in who we are, nobody can shake up our world. I know this is a very general statement to make, but there is so much truth to it. Having control over your life means knowing yourself well enough to know the things that will and will not break you (and of course the goal is to never let anything break you). So, don’t forget about you, especially when you’re the type of person who always takes care of others.
5) Be strong minded but free willed
Probably my favorite thing when it comes to having complete control over your life. Being strong minded but free willed means having the ability to be a positive and compassionate individual, which is created from your ability to be open-minded about everything that life has to offer. There are many times when we may not agree with something, or see eye to eye about something, but it’s moments like these that test our humanity.
I’m not saying you have to be on board for every little thing this world has to offer. Realistically nobody can nor do they want to be that person. But when we choose to be open-minded about the world we live in, and despite all the good and the bad that we see, witness, and are aware of we still choose to be a compassion and positive person, we are allowing ourselves to be the ones who create a world we are choosing to live in, and everything that, that world is made up of.
There you have it! 5 more tips to help you learn how to be in control of your life. Again, if you missed out on part one of this blog post you can check it out here.
Conclusion of Tips:
Part One:
1) Don’t be afraid to speak your mind
2) Know the difference between being valued and being used
3) Surround yourself with like-minded people
4) Be an active participant in your life
5) Trust your support system
Part Two:
1) Don’t engage in power struggles
2) Block out any negativity
3) Embrace any positivity
4) Don’t forget about you
5) Be strong minded but free willed
All 10 of these tips can and will help you discover something truly great, powerful, and beautiful about yourself that will ultimately strike fear in others, but in a good way. Nobody likes when others have control over them, or they make decisions for their life based off of the things they believe need to happen. Never give anybody that control or any opportunities to grasp that kind of control over you and your life.
Instead, always choose to be the one behind the wheel of your life, because IT’S YOUR LIFE and only you have the power to make it whatever it is you want it to be. So be strong, be powerful, and be fearless. I know this is easier said than done but guys, I promise if you are willing to put in the work you will get there!
See you soon!
-Xo
Kimora