It’s no secret that I’m a huge dreamer. In fact I have so many dreams, I tend to lose track of them all! But I don’t view this as a bad thing. Instead I view it as something to have power over. Dreams are a big part of our imaginations, our creativity, and our deepest fantasies. They are the very things we find motivation, inspiration, and determination in. They are essentially the key to success.
So I’m a big supporter of having dreams. Well, actually not just dreams, but big dreams. For having so many dreams that you can’t keep track of them. I’m a supporter of this because over the past couple of years I’ve come to understand that it’s honestly one of the main keys to my happiness.
And in all honestly, I think it could be a key factor for anybody in regards to their happiness. And who doesn’t want to be happy?
As you may or may not know, this year has been all about chasing the dream(s). Not letting anything get in the way of me not having the courage to do it. Just letting go and really going for it. And not only going for it, but giving it everything that I have in me. That way no matter where I end up, I’ll always know that I gave my dreams a shot.
But not everyone has this type of determination, for a long time I didn’t. The passion, inspiration, and motivation was always there to follow my dreams. But the determination wasn’t. I believe this was due to a lot of fear and low self-esteem. But this year that’s changing for me.
I’m learning more and more every day to not let fear be a driving factor in my life. It’ll only hold me back. And I don’t want to be contained, I wanna be free. So in January I began that journey, the journey of being free of fear. And so far, it’s working wonders for me.
Due to my own personal success, and the changes I have seen in myself and my life as a result of being free of fear, I thought I’d share with you my top 5 ways to be free of fear in order to follow your dreams.
1 – Don’t hesitate
I know this is easier said than done, but I’ve learned that hesitation is always the jumpstart for fear. When we hesitate about something we allow the opportunity for so many different scenarios to run through our mind. Some of them may be realistic, others not so much. Regardless of this fact we are setting ourselves up for potential failure. And not failure in the sense that “you suck”, but failure in sense that “you never even tried”. I don’t know about you, but it’s so hard for me to look at myself in the mirror, or be ok with who I am when I run away from something out of fear. I automatically label myself as a failure.
I don’t know why, this is just how I am. So this year I’ve learned that in order for me to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be ok with who I am, I have to overcome the habit of letting fear control me. So I did. And so far, it has opened so many doors for me in my personal life. And I’m talking about doors that I honestly never thought possible simply because I never thought to give these moments, situations, and relationships a second thought. It has had a very positive impact on my life, and it’s all because I have been training myself to not sit on any hesitations that I may have, but instead to act on my impulses.
2 – Forget about what others think of you
Another one that is easier said than done. Not letting the thoughts or perceptions of what others think about you be a force in your life can be challenging. For starters, we live in a very social world. And it doesn’t help that almost every little thing we do in life has some type of social aspect to it. So this naturally puts us in a position where we have to be social to some degree, and are constantly surrounded by social people in social settings.
With that being said it can be hard to not fall into the things people may say about you. And they don’t always have to be bad things. I remember one time, back in high school, telling a recruiter from the military that I wanted to be an actress (he asked me what I wanted to do instead of going to the military) after I graduated. I always get excited when people ask me this because I always know what my answer is going to be, and I take pride in that. However, this time I wasn’t so excited about it.
And here’s why.
Shortly after telling him that I wanted to be an actress he looked at me and said, “well are you good?”, in which I replied “I like to think so”, which he then responded saying “are people able to tell when you are acting?”, in which I of course said “well yeah, but only because I understand that when I’m acting I’m filling in the shoes of someone else, I’m not carrying over any baggage that I may have as a means to artistically express it.” This didn’t seem to satisfy him because he ended the conversation by saying “well if people can tell you are acting, then doesn’t that make you a bad actor?”
At the time I took this real hard, because acting is something that I truly do value. And though I knew his intentions were good, I thought that maybe I was a bad actor. Maybe I was full of myself and telling myself that I was good just because I was afraid of being good at anything else. Years passed and I eventually let that stupid comment go. But it did have an impact on me for a while, because I allowed his simple statement about my acting be a reason why I even let the slightest bit of doubt in. Lesson learned after all these years? Don’t care what others think.
3 – Be passionate
You can’t just have a dream to chase simply because you want to chase it. I always say that’s like saying your favorite color is blue simply because everyone says their favorite color is blue. At this point we are trying too hard to make ourselves be liked everyone else, and why would we want that? Especially when it comes to a dream? You can’t say your dream is to be the world’s greatest chef if you absolutely dislike cooking, or don’t have a deep enough passion for the craft to be in the kitchen 24/7. It’s ridiculous because then it sends the message that you are trying to imitate the life of another instead of just living your truth to its full capacity.
So whatever your dream is, whatever it is that you want to do in life, be passionate about it. Want it because it’s the only thing that you live for. It’s your only source of oxygen, the one thing that brings you true happiness. Dreams are so personal because they reveal so much about who we are. Therefore, if your heart isn’t in it, then don’t go for it. But if your heart is, then by all means give it all that you’ve got.
4 – Work for it
My parents always told me nothing in life comes easy. And let me tell you, they were right. For as long as I have wanted to do acting I never would have known my footsteps would have guided me here. But they did, and I honestly think that’s because I never stopped wanting it. Even when I was younger and my parents absolutely refused to pack up the whole family and move to California, despite the fact that I begged them every summer for the whole summer, I never let that dream go. Even when I got signed to my agency here in my home state, and was faced with a bigger challenge of getting to where I wanted to be, I never stopped.
No matter what obstacles come in my way I never lost sight of what it was that I truly wanted. Instead, it was always fuel to my fire to work that much harder for it. And it’s paying off. I’m getting better and better with each passing day at my craft and that’s because I feel more determined than I have ever felt to make this dream of mines work for me. It’s one thing to dream an impossible dream, and another to make the impossible possible.
5 – Never stop growing
I think a lot of people have the idea that once they’ve achieved something, they no longer have to work for it. They kind of get into this groove that this is it and they don’t have to put in the hard work anymore because they got what they wanted. And by doing this they automatically put a stop to their growth. However, this is not the case. Just because you “make it” doesn’t mean you have made it. I always say you’ve never truly make it until all you have left to give and leave behind is a legacy that worth telling, and will be told until the end of time.
And not everybody gets to this point in life. Why? Because it’s a process. It’s not something that happens overnight. Instead it’s something that you have to constantly work for. And when it comes to your dreams, there is always room for growth because your potential to be and achieve bigger and better things becomes greater with each passing day.
It takes a lot of guts to live up to your dream. To embrace it and own it despite what people say. And trust me, someone will always have an opinion about what you choose to do with your life. For every one person who wants to see you happy, there is another who wants to see you miserable. Those are the people we can’t allow to have control, because when they have control we make ourselves available for fear to latch on.
Once fear latches on it’s hard to find ways to let it go. Fear and mediocrity love company. Therefore, we can never allow ourselves to be mediocre, and we can never allow fear to latch on.
When we give ourselves permission to shine in our spotlight, alone, we truly are unstoppable. But it’s a process. We don’t get there overnight. We get there by putting ourselves and our dreams first. And we put ourselves and our dreams first by allowing ourselves to be free of fear.
Hope this inspires you love bugs. Or inspires someone somewhere. Remember, these are just my suggestions. Things that I have learned and have worked for me while on my journey of making my dreams a reality. Therefore, this may or may not be a good formula for you to follow. Regardless of whether it is or not, there’s always a formula that will work for you.
If you have any I’d love to hear about it. Leave your advice down in the comments below. And as always, I’ll see you on the other side!
-Xo
Kimora