Omg you guys, I can’t believe that in 5 weeks I will be graduating from graduate school!!
This is so unreal to me. I feel like just yesterday I was walking across the stage for my high school graduation, anxiously waiting to start my first year of college. And even when I was in college, I couldn’t wait to graduate and move onto graduate school, after I knew for sure what I wanted my safety net to be (because I still have plans to become an actress 😊). I have always wanted to pursue a career in acting but after two years in college, I knew that I needed to see this journey through. That meant graduating from college in four years (which not many college students are able to do so yay me for having the patience, motivation, and determination to see that through!) and immediately moving on to graduate school. And now here I am, 5 years later and I’m about to officially be done with school altogether!
This has been no easy road. So many sleepless nights due to studying for final exams, and if I’m being honest the many times I waited until the very last minute to tackle an assignment. So many hours in the day dedicated to studying and taking notes, and anyone who knows me knows that I don’t like taking notes, and I can’t sit still for very long. So many Microsoft Word documents, PowerPoint presentations, and overall knowledge intake, knowledge that I’m sure I won’t remember by the book. This has been my life for the past 5 years and in 5 weeks all of that will be coming to an end.
Except for the knowledge intake part, I personally believe we never stop learning.
I’m accomplishing this at such a young age. I know that because every time someone asks me what I’m in school for, what I’m studying, when I’ll be graduating, etc., and I always tell them, this leads to them asking me what my age is. When I tell them how old I am (I’m not telling you though, but I am in my 20s) they are always in complete shock that I’m accomplishing all of this at such a young age.
And for a while it didn’t faze me. I thought surely more people than is recognized accomplish such amazing things like this at my age. I mean, there are people who accomplish so much more at younger ages! I’ve read about teenagers who graduated from college before they were 21! So, I never really understood what the big deal was until I approached my final three classes. Yes, there are a lot of people who accomplish a lot of great things at such a young age, but most people don’t.
Most people drop out of school for various reasons, or take their time going through college because work is more of a demand than school. Or whatever the reason may be, not too many people are able to accomplish what I have accomplished at such a young age without the support, determination, and motivation to do so. So, once I came to the realization of this I started to take pride in my accomplishment.
It’s such a big thing to accomplish, not only at my age but in life in general. Both of my parents entered college but never finished. A lot of my peers are still in their second or third year of college, while others just decided not to go all together. I also have peers who started families early in life, so school isn’t even a priority for them right now. So, in addition to learning how to take pride in this big accomplishment I decided to reflect what I have learned about life and myself over the past 5 years, as a result of accomplishing this goal of mines.
Ready? Here we go!
#1 Life Takes Time
Such a silly lesson to have learned in the past 5 years, but for me this is the truth. I have always been the type of person who looks towards the future. Ever since I was a little girl I can remember spending so many hours in the day daydreaming about what my life will be like once I got to where I wanted to be. As I got older I started to realize that life is a process. You don’t just wake up one day, decide on something that you want to do with your life, and just make it happen. No. Instead you have to really work for it. You have to plan accordingly, you have to be persistent, and most importantly you have to keep that vision always present in your mind.
When I decided to go to college it was because I wanted to become a psychologist and make a difference in the lives of others (and because I didn’t have the money to pack my bags up and move to Los Angeles to pursue acting). This inspiration came from my own personal experience with a psychologist. Having that vision, that end goal always present in my mind, really helped push me through college. There were so many times I wanted to just drop out and pursue an acting career. But I was constantly reminding myself that I decided to go to college for a reason, and I had to see that reason through. So yes, we get impatient at times. It’s human nature to want something when and how we want it, that’s called instant gratification which is the world we live in now. But it’s not the reality of how we reach our goals. Life takes time.
#2 Your Biggest Accomplishment Is Whatever Brings You Pure Joy
Growing up, like most people, I always viewed the aspect of accomplishing something as something tangible, like trophies or certificates. But when I got into high school I quickly realized how very wrong about this idea I was. Accomplishments come in so many different shapes and forms, and they do not have to be tangible at all. College was a tough 4 years for me. I experienced so much life within those years and was eventually left with a lot to process after graduating. One of those things that I had to process, and spent about a good year processing, was what accomplishing something really meant and looked like.
I had a degree to show for my accomplishment of graduating college, but I had nothing tangible to show for all the other things I accomplished over those 4 years. Nothing to show for surviving my first romantic heartbreak, nothing to show for all my hours of volunteer work, nothing to show for the many struggles I had about leaving college, or my persistence for pursuing an acting career. I had nothing tangible to show for those things because they all live within me. If I had to label it I would label it as wisdom. You experience something, good or bad, and learn something valuable in the end. With my first heartbreak, I learned self-love. My volunteer work I learned a deeper level of gratitude and appreciation. My struggle with leaving school I learned what persistence really means. These are all things that can’t be tangibly seen. They just live within us and we learn how to wear them as a personal badge of honor and accomplishment.
#3 Persistence Is Not For The Weak
It really isn’t. If I had given up on finishing college the many times I wanted to I can’t say for certain that I would be where I am now. It’s not where I want to be, my end goal, but I’m a lot closer to it than I was 5 years ago. And I honestly think that’s because I chose to be persistent in everything that I do, in everything that I want, and in everything that I aspire to be or have. That persistence has really created a fire in me that I find harder and harder with each passing day to let burn out. And I think that’s how everything we do in life should be.
#4 Nothing Happens After Midnight
This is so silly but when I was younger my parents used to tell my brothers and I “nothing good happens after midnight”. Of course as a teenager I didn’t really understand what they meant by this. I was always at home and in bed by 10:00pm anyways, but it wasn’t until my college years when I started to feel an urge to be up at night when I really understood what this meant (my brothers tease me about being an old lady because I’m usually in bed by 10pm).
But not in the sense that you may be thinking. I ended up spending a lot of nights studying and working on projects while I was in college. What I quickly learned about those many sleepless nights was that while I’m up doing my best to be proactive, all the other older more responsible adults were sleeping, and the teenagers were out at a party somewhere trying their best to avoid trouble. So needless to say, it was just me, whatever buddy I could find that was up that late at night and willing to text me (which was nobody!), and my TV, which usually had nothing entertaining to watch after 12am. Which made those all-nighters hard to pull off for studying and getting school work done. So, I guess it’s true, nothing happens after midnight.
#5 It’s All About The Bigger Picture
When I think about all the times I wanted to give up on school I realize that those were the moments when I had forgotten why I was doing what I was doing. I had lost all inspiration and motivation for what had gotten me here, and instead of viewing it as something beneficial to look forward to I started to view it as a chore. Which of course made this all the more unpleasant, which made me want to throw in the towel even more. By time I got half way through my third year I had to remind myself frequently of the many reasons why I had decided to go to college.
This proved to be more helpful than I will probably admit. I literally would chant to myself every night before bed, and every morning when I woke up “you’re doing this for a reason”. Practicing this chant religiously really helped me stay focus on school, stay on top of all my homework, projects, and assignments, and get to graduation. I had to constantly remind myself of why I was here, what my end goal was. Without this I honestly don’t know if I would be able to proudly say I graduated college in 4 years and am a proud owner of a Bachelor’s Degree.
#6 You Have To Block Out Negativity
Thankfully I never got any of this directly, but there were a couple of times when I would experience it indirectly. The odd thing about this is that I would be the one who was projecting that negativity into my life. I think I got to a point where I honestly believed that going to college was a waste of my time. I was going to be in so much debt once I graduated, and it’s not like I would have been able to do what I wanted to do right after graduating, so I basically told myself there was no point in seeing this journey through.
I would tell myself this in very unnoticeable ways. Such as intentionally lying in bed an extra 30 minutes just to catch the late bus and arrive to class 5 minutes late. Or choosing not to do my homework until the day before it was due. At the time I put this off as being lazy or procrastinating, but the truth of the matter was I was looking for a way out. And I’m glad that I knocked myself out of that silliness sooner rather than later, because I am who I am, and where I need to be because of it.
#7 Surround Yourself With Those Who Understand
Positivity is key. In high school I found myself surrounded by a lot people who just weren’t as goal driven in life as I was. So finding people in college who were, was a huge surprise and relief to me. It was a surprise because college was intense and I just figured that everyone was battling themselves with giving up just like I was. Either that or putting in countless hours of studying in order to keep pace with the course work and maintain good grades. It was a relief because I quickly came to realize that, that wasn’t the case. Instead these were all people who had a bigger picture in mind and were just doing the best they could to get there. Surrounding myself with those people really pushed me to show up for class every day, even on the days when I really didn’t want to.
#8 Maintain A Social Life
Something that I was never good at, not even in college. And if I’m being honest I’m still not good at it. School for me was a lot like work, you have to keep them separate. You can’t mix your school life with your personal life otherwise you just feel like you are never getting a break. Which is exactly how I felt. Why? Well it’s very simple. I didn’t really have many friends and the few friends I did have I didn’t really put in any effort to create a healthy social life with them outside of school. So, as a result of this I never felt like I had a break from school whenever I interacted with them. I felt like my whole life was about school. Maintaining a healthy social life that is separate from school will really provide you those breaks and moments of breather that you need. I only wish I knew this then, maybe the journey would have been a little bit smoother.
#9 Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark
This makes me laugh every time I think of it, but basically…don’t be afraid of the dark. My freshmen and sophomore year of college I ended up having a lot of night classes. This was because I really wanted to graduate in 4 years, so I was a full-time student with a full schedule from morning until night. At the time I told myself I was so stupid because I was afraid of the dark. I did not like to be outside by myself, and I had to catch the bus and then walk an additional 6 blocks, Monday-Thursday, by myself after 9:00pm. Needless to say I was always uncomfortable, I always dreaded those moments and spent many days kicking myself in the ass for doing it. But thankfully my junior year came around and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. No more night classes. But I did learn that even though I’m highly creeped out by the idea of being alone in the dark (when I am outside) it’s not always as bad as it seems. I mean I never got hurt, and I’m very blessed and thankful for that. But it’s important to always be aware of your surroundings! Day or night, but especially at night.
#10 Know That It Is All Worth It
Here I am 5 years later and I will officially be a graduate school graduate in 5 weeks. If I didn’t experience all the things I experienced back in undergrad, I don’t know if I would be where I am today thankful and appreciative of every little struggle. It felt like such a long journey, and there were many moments of self-defeat, but I pushed through it. And because I pushed through I will be able to create a career for myself that I am comfortable with. A career where I am the boss, and that’s how I like things to be. So yes, it was a very long, tiring, and at times a never-ending journey, but I did it! I stuck it out, I committed to the process, and I know that it was all worth it.
And that’s pretty much it guys. These lessons have really forged a way of life for me. I see so many changes in every little thing that I do. From taking better care of my body and my health, to really pursuing an acting career, I feel more alive than I have ever felt.
Which I think just goes to show you that we can’t be so quick to give up when things aren’t going our way, or at least the way we planned or anticipated them to.
Everything we do we do for a reason. Everywhere we end up we end up there for a reason. Life is full of unforeseen corners, but they are a necessary part of our journey. And I encourage you all to embrace the unforeseen future because you never know what great things could await you.
See you next time!
-Xo
Kimora