Hello beautiful people! If you read my last post, then you know that I’ve been evaluating the types of relationships that I have in my life.
And I think this is a good thing. It’s important to slow down every once in a while, and just evaluate where you are in life, all that you have accomplished, and what makes up your overall success. In doing so I have come to realize that a big part in all of my successes, no matter how big or small they may be, is due to my support network.
The people who support me in all of my ridiculous dreams and goals. The people who time and time again remind me of why I do the things I do, especially when times get hard. The people who I know will be there no matter what.
I’m very appreciative of them. I don’t let them know this as often as I probably should, but I am very appreciative of them. And if you’re reading this just know I’m appreciative of you as well. If you have people like this in your life, don’t do what I do. Tell them how much they mean to you and do it frequently. Don’t be afraid to hug them more than you probably should. Don’t shy away from telling them “I love you”. Openly and proudly appreciate them. Appreciation is probably one of the greatest forms of flattery.
After thinking about these relationships for a while I started to think of all the things that make those relationships so meaningful to me. And let me tell you, there are a lot! But it’s not always about quantity, quality is what really matters. So today I thought I’d share with you 10 simple ways to make your relationships more meaningful.
Ready? Here we go 😊!
#1 Actively Listen
There is nothing more annoying than someone who claims to be your friend, or supportive and understanding of you, but they never listen! You all know who I’m talking about, we all have encountered someone like this before.
Something that makes a relationship really strong and deeply meaningful, is when both participants know how to actively listen to one another. You may be wondering, what does it mean to actively listen to someone else? To put it simply, it’s when you truly listen to what is being said. How do you know when you are doing so? Because you will be to focused and engrossed in what is being said, that you won’t even have time to form a response in your head, ready to go at the fly. And we all have been guilty of this before, especially in arguments.
We want so desperately to get our responses, opinions, and thoughts across that while others are talking, we are already thinking about what we are going to say. When we do this we are not actively listening. So don’t, it’s one sure sign of how deeply meaningful a relationship may just be.
#2 Be Supportive
Support one another. Support comes in so many different shapes and forms, so it’s important to acknowledge it when it’s happening. When you support one another it’s a sure sign that you truly care about that person, and you genuinely want nothing but the best for them. There may be times when you don’t agree with a choice or decision they make, something that they want to do or have done, but I say so long as it’s not life threatening or has the potential to endanger themselves or others, be supportive. Support is so hard to come across mainly because it involves a deep amount of trust, and trust is not created overnight. So when you got it, don’t take it for granted.
#3 Extend the Giving Arm
I know for some people this is hard, but for others it’s not. However, something that I have come to discover over the past couple of years is that when you truly care about someone, giving them something without the expectation of receiving something in return is almost a given. I do this all the time. I spend the whole entire year gifting my family and close friends with things. They don’t ask for it…all the time, but whether they do or don’t it’s something that I like to do. So I do it. And every time I do I never expect anything in return simply because it’s something that I like to do to show them that I appreciate them, and to let them know that I am thinking about them always.
#4 Have A Mutual Understanding of The Relationship
This is probably the most important part of a meaningful relationship. As I’m sure you all know relationships can mean different things to different people. Some may value a relationship more than the other person, or they may have created a bond under different circumstances. Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to have a mutual understanding of what the relationships means to the both of you.
And I’m not saying you both have to see, give, and gain the same things from the relationship. All I’m saying is you both should have an understanding that this relationship is so much more than a friendship. It’s so much more than just emotional support, a good friend to hang out with, or someone you can always count on. This relationship has to be of value and importance to the both of you, something that neither one of you can imagine a life without. Those are the types of relationships that have the most heart.
#5 Have Minimum Expectations For One Another
I honestly think expectations are a double edged sword. They can be good things, and they can also be bad things. In cases such as relationships I think they can be a good thing, so long as they are kept to a bare minimum. You don’t want to hold the other person to all these ridiculous expectations of what you want, need, or expect in the relationship.
Instead keep it as plain and as simple as possible. Like the expectation to always be honest with one another no matter how hurtful the truth may be. That’s a very good one to have. Expectations such as these could actually strengthen the relationship. I personally believe that when we hold not only ourselves, but others to simple and doable expectations such as these, there is a lot of accountability that is bound to happen. And trust me, accountability is a good thing.
#6 Don’t Sacrifice Your Authentic Self
Be true to yourself always. I feel like this is a very important lesson to learn in life and to carry with you throughout life. There is nothing more attractive and appreciative than someone who is not ashamed of who they truly are. People can copy you as an individual, people can mock the relationship you have with others, they can even mock you as a person, but absolutely no one can make a copy or mock your authentic self, because that is a version of you that cannot be replaced or duplicated. And that is the version of you that you should always be when your with people who you have created these deeply meaningful relationships with.
#7 Honor the Relationship
Respect one another be proud to be a member of the relationship. Friendships, genuine friendships, takes many years to create. What makes these types of relationship even more challenging, is that in addition to the committed years of investment, it’s requires a lot of effort and dedication to maintain those relationships. And that’s a hard thing to do. Very few people are able to accomplish it. I once read many years ago that it takes 7 years for genuine friendships to form. That’s a long time! And the only two people I know who have a really strong, deep, meaningful relationship, are my two older brothers. So needless to say, when it’s there honor it proudly.
#8 Know The Difference Between A Friend And An Acquaintance
Meaningful relationships are composed of people who are actually friends, not acquaintances. I’m not even entirely sure that everyone knows the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I’ve witness many times in my life where someone has referred to someone as a friend, when in actuality they are an acquaintance, and unfortunately vice versa as well. And I don’t know, maybe they do this to avoid hurting feelings, or because they want to change the title of that relationship and just don’t know how. Whatever the reason may be, I know for sure that meaningful relationships blossom from genuine friendships. So don’t be shy or afraid of making deep connections with people. And if the spark isn’t there, it isn’t there. It’s nothing to beat yourself up over or to drag through the mud. It just is what it is, and you have to be accepting of that.
#9 Participate in The Relationship
Don’t be that person who wants it to be all about them all the time. You have to share the spotlight people. And honestly in some cases, there will be moments when you just won’t get a taste of the spotlight. But in meaningful relationships that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are there for one another, you do things you both like to do with one another, you support one another, and you know that your relationship means so much more than what you are able to receive or gain from it.
#10 Trust One Another
As I mentioned earlier meaningful relationships are built off of trust, and it can take years for others to develop a strong sense of trust in one another. But when it’s there it will be the most beautiful and genuine part of any relationship. The idea of knowing that you can be yourself completely and unforgivingly, while knowing that the other person will always, always have your best interest at heart, is truly life changing. And I know it sounds so cheesy but it really is! They will look out for you, care for you, be that guidance when you need it, be your emotional support system, I mean they will be there for you through it all. And there is absolutely nothing more refreshing and beautiful than that.
So there you have it guys. By no means is this a perfect formula to making meaningful relationships, and for some it may not be in the recipe at all. But it’s something that I have done and continue to do, and I can only speak from my experiences how amazing it has worked out for me.
I feel like as I continue to age and move through this life these things will become altered. And maybe they won’t. Maybe I’ll just discover new meanings to them, or find new beauties and reasoning behind them. Maybe none of this will happen, and these will forever be the way they are to me.
Regardless of what may happen many years down the road I’m happy that I have a small group of people I can truly depend on. It means the world to me to have that support network, even though we are absolutely nowhere near perfect.
Share with me your ideas of what makes a relationship meaningful? Who is your support network? I’d love to hear about it!
Until next time love bugs!
-Xo
Kimora