Hi guys.
This week was a step forward for me. It wasn’t a big one as I was hoping, but at least it was a step forward. I’m learning to celebrate every little thing no matter how big or small it is. Which means I’m choosing to celebrate the little step forward on this journey that I was able to take.
I was able to commit to working out three days this week, despite feeling horrible. And let me tell you I felt horrible this week. There’s something going around and I think my body is trying to catch it. So, this past week I’ve just been feeling really disgusting, inside and out. Runny nose, upset stomach, the whole shebang. And I honestly just felt like hiding away in my room away from the whole until whatever is trying to take over my body went away.
And though I know it/s no excuse I’ve come to finally accept that it’s one of my greatest weaknesses. I don’t like to be in pain of any sort! So, when I’m in pain I literally don’t want to do anything or be bothered by anyone. I just want to lay in bed all day alone and isolated from the world, and wish the pain away. And this week that’s exactly what I did. I spent a lot of time in my bed. The three days I did work out, I had to force myself to get out of bed.
And if I’m besting honest the days I did crawl out of bed to workout, I felt awesome. Well maybe not awesome but I did feel better. So I tried to tick myself into the idea that if I continued to get up and workout I would begin to feel better. The first three days proved that to be true. But then Monday came.
Mondays are usually very busy days for me. I had planned on getting up early in the morning and working out, but I just couldn’t shake the exhaustion I was recovering from on Sunday. So I figured I would sleep in a little bit longer before getting up to start my day. I figured I would do some yoga at point and time that morning, but it never happened. So naturally I started to beat myself up.
And not working out Monday rolled into not working out Tuesday, and it didn’t help that Tuesday I had a super upset stomach all day. So, I figured that the three days I got up to workout were going to be the only days this week I worked out, and though I had planned for the whole week, I’m satisfied with the days I was able to make it happen.
Why? Because the week before last week I was horrible with this commitment. I only worked out once and I remember just spending the whole week beating myself up. I would think about working out, plan and schedule out a time to do it, but I just couldn’t seem to get my body moving. This week I did more than just work out once, I worked out three days! I can see where I started out strong, had some slips, but now I’m slowly but surely rising again. So yes, three days was not ideal but it’s a win in my book because I’m moving forward.
And I didn’t pick back up on clean eating which is honestly the only thing I’m beating myself up over. So many times I had the opportunity to choose something healthy over something not as healthy, but I didn’t. Why? Well honestly it all boils down to money. Clean eating can be expensive but when you’re stuck between continuing to pay your bills on time and allowing someone else to feed you, the way I was raised you eat whatever they feed you. And again, I know it’s no excuse but give me a break, please, old habits die hard!
But other than that, I’m proud of myself. I fell off the horse, I told myself I was going to get back on it and I did. It wasn’t as fast as I’d hope, and I didn’t get back in the rhythm like I had planned, but I got back up. And honestly guys that’s all that matters.
It’s funny how life works, in such mysterious ways. This month was supposed to be a good month for me. I was supposed to follow through on commitments, reach some goals, and just move forward with my life in a positive way. And it’s happening, I can see that without a doubt. It’s just not happening the way I had envisioned it. But as is with everything there were some unanticipated roadblocks and they threw me completely off course.
I wish I would have handled them a lot better. That I would have stayed more focused on what matters most to me this month, but that’s just life sometimes. Sometimes we get caught up in the things that don’t matter or have a negative effect on us. And that’s ok, it’s part of being human, but I’ve learned that it’s a cycle I need to stop repeating. It’s getting me nowhere.
And I realized that this week. I’ve been spending too much time, putting too much energy into all the little things that could be looked past. Doing so has caused me to lose sight of what really matters to me this month. To lose sight of what I had personally wanted to achieve. It has caused me to lose sight of my goals, and that’s what sucks the most. But I’m still learning, I’m a work in progress, and I’m not going to let it hold me back.
We can’t undo something that has already been done. So the best thing to do at this point is learn from it and move forward.
I’ve got one more week left in March to work towards my March goals and I plan to give it my all. And I know that whatever I learn from this week, I’ll combine with what I’ve learned the whole month, and apply it to my life moving forward. That’s all I can really do at this point.
I’ve got one more week left and I’m going to try and finish strong. The next and final update will be about my overall experience with the Blogilates lifestyle. So stay tuned love bugs. I feel like there’s a lot of things I discovered that you may just find you can relate to as well.
See you soon!
-Xo
Kimora