Heartbreak is real. It’s real and will without a doubt take you on an emotional journey. A journey of ups and downs, good and bad days, anger, resentment, happiness, laughter, and many, many tears.
Some would even say that it’s a journey of self-discovery.
I say it’s a journey of purpose. Every heartbreak is the jump start to something more profound, more great, and more fulfilling in your life than what you have now. And heartbreak doesn’t have to come about from a first love, a failed relationship, or anything along the lines of relationships and love for that matter.
It can come from the loss of someone special to you, the inability to grab hold of something that is within your reach, or the disappointment of the result of something important to you. It can even come from the lack of confidence you may have in yourself, which makes it harder for you to be brave enough to chase after the things you want in life.
Heartbreak can be the result of many things. Something I never really took the time to realize growing up is that we do so many things throughout the day. We have so many thoughts, we go through so many emotions, and all of that is the result of something in our life. Something productive that is helping us get through each day. Helping us understand and explore the many treasures of this thing we call life, because it’s all for a greater purpose.
The purpose of making something great and meaningful out of your life.
So yes, there are so many things in our life that has personal meaning to us. It doesn’t have to be something physical. It could be something as small as the house you live in, or as big as being the most sought after architect in your home state. Regardless of what it may be, it has personal meaning to you, it’s something we learn to truly value and appreciate as the years go by. We learn to commit and make something beautiful of whatever that may be.
And sadly, sometimes those great moments of passion and motivation brings about little bumps along the way, which often times leads to heartbreak. I use to paint heartbreak in such a negative light. I never thought anything good could come from it. I mean let’s be honest, nobody wants their hearts broken for any reason.
But that was silly, young, and naïve little me thinking this. Taking on this perspective of heartbreak. Now that I am older and wiser, I have come to view heartbreak in a different light. To find a greater purpose for its pain. Heartbreak is a very realistic and relatable part of being human. And though it may hurt, it almost always seems worth the pain because in the end we are born anew with a greater drive to redeem ourselves from whatever it was that split our hearts in two.
I just recently got some news from a friend about a really big accomplishment in their life. Words truly cannot express how I happy and proud I am for them. I have only known them for about a year, but even within that year of knowing them I see and believe in their dreams. I see how passionate they are about modeling and the world of fashion, and most recently the art of acting! They have been offered an amazing opportunity to make all those dreams a reality and it makes me happy to know that they are going to take a shot at it.
As mentioned earlier I am beyond excited for them! I love when I get to see people make their dreams a reality, when they get presented an opportunity to better themselves and their lives and I encourage anyone and everyone to always take advantage of these opportunities! But I would also be lying if I said it didn’t hurt a little to know that she is one step closer to living out her dreams than I am.
I tend to be a bit pessimistic at times, especially when I feel so strongly about something. And for a moment that’s all I could be. I remember thinking why not me? I’ve been working so hard for so long to make a career out of acting, so why is this not happening for me!?
That moment created so much heartbreak and pain that I literally cried for about an hour. I cried because all I could think about was how young and happy she was, and will be because she has a world of amazing opportunities equipped with amazing projects waiting for her, and I have a whole another year of pure anticipation.
This heartbreak was a very personal one. It was personal because it was the second time in a row that I heard about someone getting the opportunity to do something that I have been waiting for my whole life. The opportunity of a lifetime.
And by a lifetime I mean the opportunity to make your life a better and more comfortable one. The opportunity to be able to take care of your family financially. The opportunity to be able to give back to your community, to be able to explore every inch of the world. But most importantly the opportunity to proudly say you are living the life that you want.
And this isn’t about money. Money makes the world go round but it is happiness, love, kindness, and joy that makes life have meaning. That makes life worth living and fighting for. That makes life worth the struggle, worth the pain, worth the heartbreak.
This is about having that opportunity. The opportunity to say that you are living the life you have always imagined for yourself. For me that life is simply doing what I love, being surrounded by those that I love and who love me back, and taking care of the ones that I love.
I have always been a huge advocate for pursuing life changing decisions that make your life more fulfilling. I wanted to achieve something my parents never did, so I went to college. I was so inspired by my four years in college that I decided to push myself a little further and go to graduate school. I want to live a healthier lifestyle, so I’m learning how to fall in love with the practice of exercise and tasteful healthy eating.
It’s the little things in life that make it worth living. That make it more fulfilling.
For me it’s made up of so many goals, dreams, and wishful accomplishments. And because of that it’s all naturally accompanied by the potential heartbreak of seeing it within reach, but not having enough reach to grasp it.
It just won’t settle in the palm of my hand.
And to be honest with you, I’m not entirely sure why. But it breaks my heart greatly to know that it’s right in front of me, but I can’t have it just yet.
Something about heartbreak that I have always sucked at is knowing how to deal with it effectively. I deal with heartbreak by crying, countlessly day in and day out because that’s all my body seems to be able to. That’s all the emotion I am able to muster up, so I cry until I can think about it without crying anymore.
After shedding many, many tears I experience a mental breakdown. I lose confidence in myself. I lose patience with the world. I lose the courage to continue to fight for what I want because the heartbreak had hit me like a tidal wave. And within that tidal was the reality of that heartbreak.
I have once again failed to grasp the one thing that is within my reach.
When I’m finally able to get over the hump of the mental breakdown, I slowly begin to put myself back together again.
And this looks different every time but it usually starts off with me getting back into an exercise routine, finding positive things to focus on, discovering a rebirth of determination, finding a deeper desire for motivation, and somehow the courage to once again take another shot at the opportunity.
This is how I felt after learning of my friends’ great news. I felt my opportunity, my wishful accomplishments are always within my reach, but I just can’t seem to grasp them. I can’t seem to grasp it no matter how hard, how long, and how far I stretch out to reach it.
And for a while I just couldn’t understand why.
But after shedding my tears I came to the realization that I have other goals I need to accomplish first. I have to get the goals that are within my reach, that are within my power out of the way first before I can focus on the goals that are much bigger and further away.
So, I wiped my tears and moved on with my heartbreak. I accepted that this just isn’t my time. It wasn’t the year before and it’s still not yet. I’m almost there but I have to finish what I started before I can move forward with my life. So, that’s what I’m going to do.
It’s funny because every time I experience heartbreak I always tell myself that I won’t be able to bounce back from it. And in the end, like always, I surprise myself by doing so.
I share this with you because I think it’s important for us to trust that the heartbreak we feel is the stepping stone to something greater that is patiently waiting for us. I think when our hearts are broken the only thing we ever seem to be able to focus on is that pain, the cause of that pain, and the desperation to not feel that pain anymore.
We just want it to stop as soon as it begins. But we have to experience it, we have to live through it because that is what makes us stronger.
I choose to believe that our heartbreak, our pain, will always make us stronger. And I encourage you all to try to see the positive, the light in a broken heart as well.
I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite movies, that holds so much meaning to me. Stay strong, be positive, and don’t ever stop dreaming or chasing after those dreams.
Be the future you want for yourself.
“Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want”
-Xo
Kimora